Scientists believe that the world is in danger due to environmental changes. Some people say that personal lifestyle changes should be made to reduce the damage to environment, while others think that the government should do something to help. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is widely argued that the
earth
planet has Change noun form
earth's
drastically
impacted by environmental and ecosystem alterations. Add a missing verb
been drastically
While
some people
state that the
environmental issues can be minimized by changing everyone’s lifestyle, others, myself included, believe that the main responsibility lies on Correct article usage
apply
government’s
shoulders. In Correct article usage
the government’s
this
following
essay, I will discuss both Correct word choice
apply
these
views.
On the one hand, some educationalists encourage Change preposition
of these
public
to Add an article
the public
using
public Change the verb form
use
transport
rather than their personal vehicles. They can take public transport
when they are commuting to the workplace. Therefore
, the number of personal cars will be reduced on the streets and it can minimize the
air pollution. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, some people
have been facilitated with the opportunity of working from home; it would be beneficial to stay at home and lessen their unnecessary travels
.
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
On the other hand
, the government
can help more to reduce environmental issues and try to save the world. Local authorities and the government
should impose “green taxes” on the people
, companies and other polluters. They can fine people
who are using their vehicles every single day instead
of using bicycles and public transport
. Also
, government
should Add an article
the government
facilitate
Verb problem
provide
people
with better transportation, and they should invest vastly on
keeping the buses and trains Change preposition
in
up-to-dated
. Correct your spelling
up-to-date
Furthermore
, the government
can invest more on
renewable energies Change preposition
in
such
as solar, and wind power. Furthermore
, all governments can improve recycling services and make it
more accessible for the whole society.
Correct pronoun usage
them
To sum up
, both individuals and the government
are responsible to address
climate change. Individuals should use more public Change preposition
for addressing
transport
and bicycles and the government
should provide efficient transportation and put more value on applying renewable energies. Personally, I believe that the government
and local authorities are more responsible to tackle
Change preposition
for tackling
the
environment-related issues.Correct article usage
apply
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Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. While discussing how individuals and governments can contribute to solving environmental issues, incorporating detailed examples or case studies would make your points more persuasive and grounded.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the connectivity between your paragraphs and ideas. While your essay demonstrates a clear structure, using a wider range of linking phrases and ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs would further strengthen the cohesion of your text.