In recent years,” responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environmrnt of the places thay visit. However, some poelpe say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A group of
people
believe that it is possible
foster
Add the particle
to foster
show examples
responsible
tourism
when visitors
committe
Correct your spelling
committed
commit
committee
themselves
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the visited spot. Others,
however
, do not believe that it is possible, as far as the
tourism
practice implicates exploring
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
and cultural aspects from a group of individuals.
This
essay deeply agrees with the former position and
this
point of view will be developed later on.
Tourism
is a relevant source of
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
income from different parts of the world.
Besides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
importance, it is
also
a way to keep communities' cultural aspects alive. Through the activity, it is possible to create awareness about determined society and make
people
know more
concerning
Change preposition
about
show examples
different realities across the globe. In Marajo, an island nestled in the North of Brazil,
for instance
, cultural
tourism
is immensely
widespred
Correct your spelling
widespread
and it is used as a tool to make
people
know more about
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
community and their activities.
Thus
, as tourists
visite
Correct your spelling
visit
show examples
the Island, they are able to see the local ceramic production, try local food made with
reginal
Correct your spelling
regional
ingredients, talk to native
people
and know more about the local history.
Depite
Correct your spelling
Despite
these positive aspects, some believe that
tourism
is harmful, considering the visitors as threats to the environment and to the local cultural manifestations. They advocate that
people
go to other places and impose their way of life and make identity apropriations.
In addition
, harm to the environment is mentioned as a bad result of
tourism
. In my point of view,
this
is a limiting belief which can prompt isolation and misinformation. Some campaigns can be developed
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
diminish
puntual
Correct your spelling
punctual
problems related to bad
tourists
Change the noun form
tourist
show examples
behaviour.
To conclude
, it is known that visiting a community can create connections and meaningful
unsderstanding
Correct your spelling
understanding
about
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of
show examples
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
reality.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, all
this
,
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not have to be faced as invasion or disrespect, as far as
people
understand that they are not at their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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task achievement
It is critical to ensure your essay remains focused on the question asked. Although you introduced relevant examples, ensure each paragraph strongly ties back to the central thesis regarding 'responsible tourism.'
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, you could benefit from more transition words and phrases that link ideas and paragraphs together more smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argumentation with less effort.
task achievement
Develop each point fully with more detailed examples and explanations. While the examples from Marajo are good, further elaboration on how these actions particularly support the notion of responsible tourism would make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Watch for typographical errors and ensure the correct use of words ('widspread' should be 'widespread', 'reginal' should be 'regional', 'puntual' should be 'punctual'). These minor errors can disrupt readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing. This will not only improve readability but also demonstrate a higher proficiency in English.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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