The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides figures concerning seven different kinds of occupation and their relation with active workers in Australia
last
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year.
Overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is possible to see that clerical and professional jobs are mainly occupied by men, even though the difference between female workers and male workers is not so huge,
whereas
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the other five job types are
leaded
Correct your spelling
led

It appears that the verb leaded is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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by women. Concerning the role played by women
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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work
Correct article usage
the work

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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market, it is interesting to note that tradespeople-related jobs have nine times more
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females

It seems that female may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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working on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, with figures
by
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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900,000.
In addition
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Managers, Production and Labourers
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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are
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fields where female
work-force
Correct your spelling
workforce

The word work-force doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is prevalent.
Mens
Correct your spelling
Men

If you don’t want Mens to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

represented one-third
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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600,000, one-fifth
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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almost 500,500, and almost
three-fourth
Correct your spelling
three-fourths

The word three-fourth doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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400,000, respectively. Clerical and professional jobs,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, are mainly occupied by males.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the difference between
women
Change noun form
women's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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occupation
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates

It seems that rate may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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working
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the same sector is slightly fewer, being less than 100,000.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment figures
  • Sectors
  • Significant disparities
  • Gender balance
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Dominant
  • Inferred
  • Labor market
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Insights
  • Implications
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