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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two maps illustrate the above changes of ‏Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 in two periods of time namely 1920 to
today
.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange
park
Capitalize word
Park
show examples
 was
modrenized
Correct your spelling
modernized
 into a large, elegant and attractive area. ‏On the one hand, in terms of radical shifts, in the central area, the fountain has been transformed into a
rose
garden
,
therefore
, around it by seats.
In addition
, the stage for musicians has been turned into amphitheatre for concerts.
Furthermore
, regarding the mild shift, on the eastern side pond for water paints has been changed into a children's play area
also
 on the southeast side Glasshouse has been developed into a water feature. ‏
However
, some of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
rose
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been removed in
today
's
park
, except at the top, northwest side, The addition of the café indicates the
rose
garden
 in the north, next to the entrance. As for the car parking, it was added to the
garden
today
 under the entrance ‏
Finally
, the
rose
garden
 in
Park
 1920 and seats have remained the same only with simple changes in
today
's
garden
.
Submitted by sesjej1330 on

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Task Achievement
To boost your score in the Task Achievement criterion, ensure you address all parts of the task. Expand on your presented data by including more detailed comparison of the park in 1920 versus today, which can be achieved by referencing specific changes and their impact.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure the logic and flow of your essay are clear. Improve this by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Organize your essay so that each paragraph follows logically from the one before, with a clear distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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