IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

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In a significant number of nations, nowadays, in public
places
Use synonyms
 smoking is prohibited. It is widely believed that
this
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 sort of ban is justified. I agree with
this
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 point of view because it ensures the well-being of
non-smokers
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, and prevents people from developing the
habit
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 of smoking. If smoking is banned in public
areas
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, it confirms the safety of
non-smokers
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. When smokers smoke in public
places
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, it negatively impacts the health of
non-smokers
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 by secondary smoking. Passive smoking is as injurious as active smoking, which severely affects the health of non-smoking individuals.
As a result
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, those who are
non-smokers
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 are
also
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 equally affected by smoking.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the UK, smoking in railway stations and bus stops is completely prohibited, and there are separate
areas
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 are provided for smoking.
This
Linking Words
 secures
non-smokers
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 from passive smoking.
In addition
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, banning smoking in public
areas
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 refrains people from sustaining the
habit
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 of smoking. If smokers are allowed to smoke in public
places
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, it will attract
non-smokers
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 to develop the
habit
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 of smoking.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, many young smokers have
told
Verb problem
said
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 that they have developed the detrimental
habit
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 of smoking by just following others smoking in public
areas
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. When their friends used to smoke in public, it encouraged them to taste cigarettes, and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 they became addicted to it and continued
this
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 harmful
habit
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 of smoking. In conclusion, I support the view of prohibiting smoking in public
places
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. Banning smoking in public
places
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 secures the well-being of non-smoking individuals, and stops people from starting smoking.

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task achievement
Consider providing more nuanced arguments or counterarguments to strengthen your task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that connects with the thesis statement, and use linking phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more diverse and specific examples to illustrate your points, as this will enhance the relevance of your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
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