IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter • explain your situation • describe your problems • tell him/her when you think you can start.

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Dear Ms. Jone I am writing to
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 with my
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new coming problem, as you know I must
come
Add the preposition
come to
show examples
 my new position as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 assistant
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
manager
this
Linking Words
Mondey
Correct your spelling
Monday
, but as you know from my interview I have had working with my uncle as
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
 consultant
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
gains
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 some problem with him and he must go to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
 for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 operation and my aunt will be alone and ask
my
Change the pronoun
me
show examples
 that I will help her until return my
ancle
Correct your spelling
uncle
ankle
angle
. So I
ask
Wrong verb form
am asking
show examples
 you if it is possible, I will start
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my new position two
week
Change to a plural noun
weeks
show examples
 later and I would like to inform you that for me it is significant to change my job, and I guess your company will give me an opportunity to use my huge experience, which I have gotten from my previous jobs. So I hope you will realize me and give me that chance to continue
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 my aunt and
then
Linking Words
 allow me to
come
Add the preposition
come to
show examples
 my new job.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Zohrab

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greeting and closing
Ensure correct and conventional use of opening and closing. Instead of 'Dear Ms. Jone', use 'Dear Ms. Jones,' and 'Your faithfully' should be corrected to 'Yours faithfully,'.
suitable writing tone
Adhere to a more formal tone and manner throughout your letter. Avoid colloquial language and ensure proper spelling and punctuation. For example, replace 'my new coming problem' with 'an issue that has recently arisen' for a more professional tone.
logical structure
Clearly structure your letter into paragraphs, each with a single idea: introduction, explanation of the problems, and your request. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to improve flow and understanding.
complete response
Extend your response to clearly explain your problems and how they impact your ability to start the job. Additionally, provide a more concrete plan or alternatives for your start date, showing consideration for the employer's situation.
single idea per paragraph
For a clearer connection between ideas, use cohesive devices appropriately. Fluctuating between past and present tenses can confuse readers. Maintain a consistent tense to enhance readability.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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