IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

The number of personal
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 has accelerated very
fastly
Rephrase
fast
show examples
 within
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 thirty decades which is observed in many towns.
As a result
Linking Words
,the world
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 suffering a problem which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
.I, personally
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem in my daily life and I think it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 barrier
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries. So,the government should take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 steps to handle
this
Linking Words
 heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
. The recent census has proved that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 has doubled. So,the increasing number of people need more and more transport
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 for their livelihood. But,the roads and number of vehicles are almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.That’s why,people buy
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 for their purposes.
As a result
Linking Words
, the roads have always
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
Noone
Correct your spelling
No one
show examples
 can move easily.
For example
Linking Words
 -students cannot able to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their class in just time.More importantly, patients who need emergency treatment are
also
Linking Words
 stuck in
traffic
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, some
are died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
 before arriving hospital.So,it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 issue
that is
Linking Words
 fully wasted time.I think it is a common scenario in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peak times.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 obstacle
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 economic development. So the government should
alert
Add a missing verb
be alert
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
 - providing
available
Correct article usage
an available
show examples
 transport system.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
damaged
Add an article
the damaged
show examples
 road should be repaired as soon as possible.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,a
well planned
Add a hyphen
well-planned
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 rules-regulation is
compolsury
Correct your spelling
compulsory
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 cannot be controlled overnight,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 the government we all should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic.
otherwise
Linking Words
, life will become more hectic.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Try to give a clearer structure to your essay by dividing it into well-defined paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use linking words to connect your sentences and ideas smoothly.
Task Achievement
You should work on providing more specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples or statistics can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammar and accuracy. Consider revisiting basic grammar rules and practice structuring complex sentences correctly.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your Coherence and Cohesion score, consider planning your essay before you start writing. This can help ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next and sticks to one main point.
Task Achievement
For a better Task Achievement score, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay directly answers the questions posed by the topic and that you explore each aspect thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wide linguistic range. Refer to synonyms and related terms, especially when discussing concepts or ideas you frequently mention.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: