Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
The number of personal
car
has accelerated very Change to a plural noun
cars
fastly
within Rephrase
fast
last
thirty decades which is observed in many towns.Correct article usage
the last
As a result
,the world are
suffering a problem which is Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
traffic
jam
.I, personally Fix the agreement mistake
jams
facing
Wrong verb form
face
this
problem in my daily life and I think it is the
barrier Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
to
the
developing countries. So,the government should take Correct article usage
apply
necessary
steps to handle Correct article usage
the necessary
this
heavy traffic
.
The recent census has proved that population
has doubled. So,the increasing number of people need more and more transport Correct article usage
the population
system
for their livelihood. But,the roads and number of vehicles are almost Fix the agreement mistake
systems
same
.That’s why,people buy Correct article usage
the same
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
car
for their purposes. Fix the agreement mistake
cars
As a result
, the roads have always traffic
congestion. Noone
can move easily. Correct your spelling
No one
For example
-students cannot able to attend in
their class in just time.More importantly, patients who need emergency treatment are Change preposition
apply
also
stuck in traffic
. Sometimes, some are died
before arriving hospital.So,it is Wrong verb form
die
a
issue Change the article
an
that is
fully wasted time.I think it is a common scenario in most of
Change preposition
apply
the
countries Correct article usage
apply
specially
in Replace the word
especially
the
peak times.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
,traffic
jam is the
obstacle Correct article usage
an
of
economic development. So the government should Change preposition
to
alert
. Add a missing verb
be alert
For instance
- providing available
transport system. Correct article usage
an available
Secondly
, damaged
road should be repaired as soon as possible. Add an article
the damaged
Last
but not least,a well planned
Add a hyphen
well-planned
traffic
rules-regulation is compolsury
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
compulsory
although
traffic
jam
cannot be controlled overnight, Fix the agreement mistake
jams
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
along with
the government we all should aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
about
Change preposition
of
this
topic.otherwise
, life will become more hectic.Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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Grammar
Pay attention to grammar and accuracy. Consider revisiting basic grammar rules and practice structuring complex sentences correctly.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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Lexical Resource
Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wide linguistic range. Refer to synonyms and related terms, especially when discussing concepts or ideas you frequently mention.
Word Count
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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
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