Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others arque that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. • Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people say that teenagers should
work
Use synonyms
part-time and earn money. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
it is
really
Add an article
a really
show examples
good point of view
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because students will learn basic lessons about
work
Use synonyms
and become more disciplined. But In my
opinion
Use synonyms
the most important for
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
while
Linking Words
they study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
is to concentrate only on the educational process, because you
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
a lot of time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
your part-time
job
Use synonyms
that's why you can't do your
hometask
Correct your spelling
homework
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
University
Use synonyms
. Another moment, it's very important to rest after
university
Use synonyms
activities, because if you are tired you can't
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
well. In these
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
I agree with
Use synonyms
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
show examples
of people saying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers that shouldn't
sacrify
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
their rest and
after
Add a hyphen
after-university
show examples
university
Use synonyms
activities to
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if students have enough time to
work
Use synonyms
of course they should
work
Use synonyms
. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
working experience will help students in the future life. It’s
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
important aspect when you're looking for a
job
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because if you don’t have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working experience you won’t be able to get a
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I would like to say that in my
opinion
Use synonyms
, every student should choose for themselves whether they need a
part
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
or not, because they have their own opinions and rights. If a student
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
enough free time, of course he can
work
Use synonyms
, because it's very important
while
Linking Words
you study and live alone to earn your own money for
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
living process, to buy everything that you want,
however
Linking Words
in my
opinion
Use synonyms
your
work
Use synonyms
shouldn’t be to the detriment of studies.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis, body paragraphs should discuss both views and your opinion, and the conclusion should summarize your points.
Paragraph structure
Make your paragraphs clear and cohesive by starting with a topic sentence. After that, add supporting sentences that develop the idea introduced by the topic sentence. Finally, use a concluding sentence that reinforces the paragraph's main point and links it to the essay's overall argument.
Linking words
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and help the reader follow your argument more easily. Examples include 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' 'As a result,' etc.
Task response
Address the essay prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion. Make sure to explore each view comprehensively, provide specific reasons, and illustrate with examples, where possible.
Idea development
To improve the clarity of your ideas, plan your essay before writing. Create an outline that includes main points for each paragraph. This will help you stay focused on the essay question and avoid irrelevant information.
Specific examples
Support your arguments with specific examples or reasons. This makes your essay more persuasive and engaging. If you're discussing the benefits of part-time work for students, for example, you might include a personal anecdote or reference relevant studies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: