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Band 3.5

some people think that men and women have diffeent qualities ,therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women . To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #diffeent #qualities #jobs
It is believed that there are dissimilar qualities between
men
 and
women
, which led to the idea that jobs are separated into ones that are suited for
men
 and others that fit
women
.
This
 essay will analyze both perspectives in order to reach a relevant conclusion. It is undeniable that differences between the two sexes exist, and the most significant one is physical strength. Research has shown that most
men
 are stronger than
women
 since a male body often grows a higher density of muscles than a female body.
This
 makes physically demanding jobs more likely to be done more effectively by
men
.
In addition
, there are works that are born to be done by
women
. Biological research has shown that less than a fraction of
women
 have big fingers, which means that
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 detail-related
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more likely to suit a female person. In a nutshell, it can be said that both
men
 and
women
 have been separated by individual qualities, facilitating their abilities to do several tasks. But, looking at current norms, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be wrong to think that they cannot do each other's jobs.
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task achievement
Ensure that there is a clear introduction that presents your argument, followed by body paragraphs that elaborate on this argument with examples and a conclusion that summarizes your view. Your essay has these elements but making your stance clearer in the introduction will enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion and coherence, make sure to use a range of cohesive devices effectively (e.g., moreover, however, in conclusion) and ensure paragraphs are well-structured and logically flow from one to the next. You've done fairly well, but refining transitions and ensuring each paragraph presents a single main idea will improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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