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Band 2

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
Within certain nations health and the fitness
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of individuals are reducing
while
 increasing their body weight. The major reasons behind
this
is
Verb problem
apply
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the bad
food
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
 and
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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 stress ,and
alliviate
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alleviate
Change the determiner
these
show examples
Change the determiner
this person
these people
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this
 people have to practice good
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance and they should
incorperate
Correct your spelling
incorporate
 healthy
food
 habits
Change preposition
into
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to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their life.
Thus
 the writer will present
Correct article usage
the
show examples
above causes and solutions logically in
this
 essay. To commence with, modern world people are attracted to easy and unhealthy
food
 patterns.Most of the time people eat fast
food
 in their home or in a
restuarant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
due to
 the
convienience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 and the
tasste
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taste
 in it.
However
 , these easy meals contain
higher
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a higher
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 number of calories and
lot
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a lot
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 of fat and
refine
Wrong verb form
refined
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 carbohydrates which are not good for individual health and
this
 higher
calori
Correct your spelling
calorie
caloric
 intake
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to gain weight for the individual in a bad way.
For example
,
according to
 a
Correct your spelling
research
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 done by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Oxford
Add a comma
Oxford,
show examples
 major reason for obesity in London school children under 12 yrs is junky
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part has a specific role: introduction to present the topic and your view, body paragraphs to detail your arguments with examples, and the conclusion to summarise your points and restate your stance.
logic
Develop a logical structure where ideas are clearly linked, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Using signposting language will help guide your reader through your argument more effectively.
examples
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Instead of just stating facts, show how they relate to your argument and the topic at hand. This will make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
completion
Your response needs to thoroughly address the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions comprehensively. Consider dividing your essay into dedicated paragraphs for causes and solutions to ensure a balanced treatment of the question.
development
Practice developing your ideas more extensively. When you introduce a point, think about how you can explore it in depth rather than moving quickly to another topic. This approach will help you create more comprehensive and clear essays.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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