IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co- education or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. To what extent do you agree with this view ?

#parts #world #girls #boys #co- #education #schools #people #benefit
It is often considered that a few individuals reckon that males and females are educated together in
co- education
Correct your spelling
co-education
show examples
 or mixed
schools
 in manyfold parts of the nation.
Whereas
, many believe that girls and boys from being educated individually in
single- sex
Correct your spelling
single-sex
show examples
 institutions
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for them. In my, an inclined, the learning should be in
co- education
Correct your spelling
co-education
show examples
schools
.
Thus
, I completely assent from the notion which
further
 leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, there are many advantages of studying in
co- education
Correct your spelling
co-education
show examples
 university. First and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies are updating and the number of co-ed
schools
 are more in
counting
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
 and
additionally
, they offer children to
familiar
Replace the word
familiarise
show examples
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 each other.
Moreover
,
combined
Correct article usage
a combined
show examples
 coaching centre
also
 helps
an offsprings
Correct the article-noun agreement
offsprings
an offspring
show examples
 to enhance their skills by sharing
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 as boys and girls have their own different
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
 on their topics.
For instance
, in Delhi, the combined
schools
 are surgely contructing because it
servers
Replace the word
serves
show examples
 a positive effect to the community. Probing ahead, these institutions are
also
 ameliorating the thoughts of
backward
Add an article
a backward
show examples
 group of folks who are against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these
schools
although
 mixed colleges are important for males as they don't know about the life cycle of girls.
However
, most of the females are not confident
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of the boys so it is very essential for them to be
extrovert
Fix the agreement mistake
extroverts
show examples
 and
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these institutions are one which gives an aid to the females to grow. In a nutshell, the government should build more and more combined
schools
, so the coming generation will be updated..
Instead
 of separating their studies, federal officials should make aware of the common man regarding these co-ed colleges.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduce your main ideas in the introduction, develop them with examples in the body paragraphs, and summarize or restate your opinion in the conclusion.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphing to organize your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The first sentence of each paragraph should introduce the main idea of that paragraph.
Examples
Provide more specific and clear examples to support your points. These examples should directly illustrate the argument you are making and be relevant to the topic.
Task Response
To enhance task response, make sure you address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views if required, and clearly state your own opinion. Support your opinion with logical arguments and examples.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Improve the accuracy and variety of your grammatical structures and vocabulary. Using a range of sentence structures and precise vocabulary can make your argument clearer and more compelling.
Coherence
Work on coherence by making sure your ideas logically flow from one to the next. Use linking words to help with the transition between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: