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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You bought a computer, and it is not connecting the Internet. - explain the details of the computer - tell the problem - ask for help

#computer #internet
Sir or Madam, I am writing to let you know that we have been experiencing a disruptive internet connection in our area for the
last
 two weeks. We are very concerned about the unstable internet connectivity, and the inconvenience is hampering our work and life to a great extent. I hope you will investigate the problem and take the appropriate steps to solve it.
While
 the average internet speed is unbelievably slow now, we often experience no connectivity at all. The average download speed in the past was more than 50MB/s which has dropped to less than 2MB/s these days. There is little hope for sharing large files and videos and people who work from home are suffering immensely
due to
this
 sluggish connection. People who make video calls are the worst
sufferer
Fix the agreement mistake
sufferers
show examples
. I believe it is your responsibility to make sure things like
this
 are addressed promptly. I assume that in order to maintain user trust, your team needs to work very hard to make sure
this
 does not happen again. Please check the cables and routers installed in our area to find and solve the problem. I hope you will take steps to prove that you are worthy of our trust. Yours faithfully, Jumayeva Ruxshona
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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task achievement
Ensure your writing explicitly addresses all parts of the task. The original task was to write about a computer not connecting to the Internet, but your letter discusses a community-wide internet connectivity issue. Stick closely to the given topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity in your writing by directly connecting your ideas to the topic. Use paragraphs effectively to organize your thoughts clearly, introducing the issue, explaining its impact, and requesting specific assistance.
task achievement
Include specific examples and details related to the problem with your computer not connecting to the internet, such as attempts to troubleshoot, any error messages received, and how the issue impacts your daily activities.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your writing includes a clear introduction and conclusion. Begin by presenting the problem with your specific computer and end with a summary or a direct request for assistance, tying back to the original concern.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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