IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged.

#friend
Dear Sir or Madam Hope you are doing great and enjoying your life. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
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 let me thank you for allowing me to use your
iPods
 which I borrowed from you about
a
Correct article usage
apply
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2 weeks ago in order to use it to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 homework kind a listening. But I must apologize to you now because the device you gave me has been damaged accidentally. Let me make
this
 clear to you what actually happened. After using your
iPods
 for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several days I noticed that it was like one headphone
is did
Wrong verb form
was
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 not working properly. So I checked the
side to side
Add a hyphen
side-to-side
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 earpieces and I
find
Wrong verb form
found
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 out
right
Add an article
the right
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 side of
headphone's
Correct article usage
the headphone's
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 mistake.
Naturally
Add a comma
Naturally,
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 I wanted to replace the
iPods
 with the new ones. Luckily I booked one headphone for you as a forgiveness. So just give me a couple of days as the order is coming to my place.
Then
 I will get it to you with
old
Correct article usage
the old
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 one. I hope it
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 not
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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big inconvenience to you I would be pleased if you
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 receive the
iPods
.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Pokiza
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you clearly understand the task's requirements. This task asked for a letter to a friend, but the salutation 'Dear Sir or Madam' is overly formal for this context. Use a more casual greeting like 'Dear [Friend's Name],' to better suit a friendly letter.
Task Achievement
Work on your writing tone to match the context of the letter. The tone in this letter fluctuates and at times becomes too formal. When writing to a friend, maintain a warm, personal, and less formal tone throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. For example, one paragraph for the incident explanation, another to express your apologies, and a third to offer a solution or compensation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your letter by ensuring a logical flow of ideas. Start with a brief greeting and mentioning the purpose of your letter, followed by the incident explanation, your apology, the solution you are offering, and a closing remark.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a more casual and appropriate closing for a letter to a friend, such as 'Warm regards' or 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your first name. 'Your faithfully' is typically reserved for letters to recipients whose name you do not know.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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