It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?
It is known that
risks
pose an important step in building strong professional and personal lives. While
others may think that taking
Correct your spelling
making
such
hazardous decisions could present a threat, I do believe in the remarkable importance of taking risks
in order to advance in the path of professionalism and personal journey.
As it may appear to some people, risks
can often represent the possibility of inminent
failure. Albeit Correct your spelling
imminent
this
reasoning is valid, risks
represents
opportunities to grow, as well. Change the verb form
represent
For example
, making the decision to invest on
a certain market and start a Change preposition
in
bussiness
from the ground could resonate as challenging. The possibilities of not Correct your spelling
business
succeding
are unavoidable, Correct your spelling
succeeding
however
, one never knows exactly what the future holds, and the first step corresponds to embrace
Wrong verb form
embracing
this
sort of risk and start
crafting the possibilities ourselves. Wrong verb form
starting
This
bussiness
could fail but often, it prevailsCorrect your spelling
business
,
and brings a myriad of advantages Remove the comma
apply
such
as economic stability, and professional profits.
On the other hand
, the experience gained from opting to embrace risks
,
could positively impact our view in Remove the comma
apply
life
. The experiences are not built from standing in one place, this
sort of stillness condems
oneself to remain unchangeable. To acquire Correct your spelling
condemns
condemn
life
experiences by taking risks
are
a huge and important part of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
life
, overall
. A recent study conducted by VOX, detailed that people that
took Correct pronoun usage
who
Correct article usage
apply
an
Correct article usage
apply
inconcibeable
Correct your spelling
inconceivable
inconsiderable
risks
during their life
ending gaining more experience from Fix the agreement mistake
these
this
choices, rather than individuals that did not Correct determiner usage
these
tempt
Wrong verb form
tempted
with straying
from traditional and foreseeable choices.
Change preposition
to stray
Furthermore
, it is important to have a 'rejection mindset', this
is meant to view every rejection as an opportunity, to try again or at least, try innovative pathways that could potentially carve better social relations or work careers.
To conclude
, the advantages of choosing risk over traditional pathways could potentiate the
opportunities in the personal areas, Correct article usage
apply
as well as
taking
adventurous choices at work could improve our professional profile and lead to milestones that Correct your spelling
making
otherwise
would have been overlooked if it was not from
that first step.Change preposition
for
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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly answer the question posed in the prompt in your introduction to make your stance clear from the beginning. While your essay suggests a positive view on taking risks, explicitly stating your view will strengthen your task achievement score.
Task Achievement
Include a wider range of specific, real-world examples to support your points. While the mention of a business venture is relevant, adding more diversified examples would enhance the depth of your argument and provide a stronger basis for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain logical flow between paragraphs by using transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Further develop your conclusion by not only reiterating your main points but also by emphasizing the significance of your argument. This reaffirms your stance and provides closure to your essay.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. For example, 'inminent' should be 'imminent', 'bussiness' should be 'business', and 'condems' should be 'condemns'.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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