Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Many people deem that being successful is related to
be
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being
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satisfied with personal life, others think that it depends on how much money someone earns. In general, it is possible to see that
this
conception is not
cristalyzed
Correct your spelling
crystallized
crystalized
.
Therefore
,
this
essay believes that
this
understanding depends on diverse factors, and being a success is a combination of expectations and goals.
Firstly
, social aspects and culture play an immense role
concerning
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in
show examples
the way that we realize achievement. In a society
emerged
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that emerged
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in capitalism,
for example
, having a good job position in a company earning
high
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a high
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salaries
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salary
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is mandatory.
Thus
,
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
is the aim. In some communities,
however
, it will be different. In Brazil, there is
a
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an
show examples
Indiginous
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Indigenous
community called Munduruku. They
fight
Wrong verb form
have fought
show examples
against illegal timber trade in their lands for many decades and being backed by the government someday would be
signal
Correct article usage
a signal
show examples
of success in
this
battle.
Secondly
, our personal motivations guide us to the path of being
well succeed
Correct word choice
successful
show examples
. It is common to see that teachers,
for instance
,
although
underpaided
Correct your spelling
underpaid
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work hard to provide good development
of
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for
show examples
their students, mostly because they know the positive impact of their position in each
student
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student's
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life. Aside
that
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from that
show examples
, there is
also
the factor family. Having close bonds with family members provides satisfaction and can make people
feelling
Correct your spelling
feeling
very
succeeded
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
To conclude
, success is different for any person. Each one carries diverse motivations, ideas, perceptions and personal dreams which work as boosters making people follow their aims and
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
making them be noticed as models to others.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear, comprehensive response to the prompts, with relevant, specific examples to support your points. To enhance coherence, consider linking your paragraphs more explicitly using transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
While your essay addresses the topic directly and offers a nuanced view of success, you could further improve by expanding your examples to cover a wider range of scenarios and by including a brief counterargument to strengthen your position. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate an ability to engage with complex ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
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