Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

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Many people deem that being successful is related to

Change the verb form

being

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satisfied with personal life, others think that it depends on how much money someone earns. In general, it is possible to see that

this

conception is not

cristalyzed

Correct your spelling

crystallized

crystalized

Therefore

this

essay believes that

this

understanding depends on diverse factors, and being a success is a combination of expectations and goals.

Firstly

, social aspects and culture play an immense role

concerning

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the way that we realize achievement. In a society

emerged

Correct pronoun usage

that emerged

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in capitalism,

for example

, having a good job position in a company earning

high

Correct article usage

a high

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salaries

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salary

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is mandatory.

Thus

carreer

Correct your spelling

career

is the aim. In some communities,

however

, it will be different. In Brazil, there is

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Indiginous

Correct your spelling

Indigenous

community called Munduruku. They

fight

Wrong verb form

have fought

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against illegal timber trade in their lands for many decades and being backed by the government someday would be

signal

Correct article usage

a signal

show examples

of success in

this

battle.

Secondly

, our personal motivations guide us to the path of being

well succeed

Correct word choice

successful

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. It is common to see that teachers,

for instance

although

underpaided

Correct your spelling

underpaid

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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work hard to provide good development

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for

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their students, mostly because they know the positive impact of their position in each

student

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student's

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life. Aside

that

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from that

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, there is

also

the factor family. Having close bonds with family members provides satisfaction and can make people

feelling

Correct your spelling

feeling

very

succeeded

Replace the word

successful

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To conclude

, success is different for any person. Each one carries diverse motivations, ideas, perceptions and personal dreams which work as boosters making people follow their aims and

than

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then

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making them be noticed as models to others.

Submitted by carinabmurakami on Tue Feb 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear, comprehensive response to the prompts, with relevant, specific examples to support your points. To enhance coherence, consider linking your paragraphs more explicitly using transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic directly and offers a nuanced view of success, you could further improve by expanding your examples to cover a wider range of scenarios and by including a brief counterargument to strengthen your position. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate an ability to engage with complex ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
personal goals
happiness
career milestones
professional development
financial independence
security
philanthropy
contribution
personal development
recognition
work-life balance
self-improvement
well-being
subjective

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Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Your opinion

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetable. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the type of media that people of differnt age groups used to get daily newsw in one country in 2011

Some people think that there's nothing we can learn from history previous characters,while on the other hand,some of them believe that there is a lot that we can learn from history,such as avoiding the mistakes that people before made. In this article, I will be discussing both views.

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.