Some scientists believe that studying the behaviors of 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

In the modern era, some scientists came to the conclusion that by analysing a 3-year-old
child
's behaviour, they can see the potential behaviour for criminal
actions
in the future. Some argue that it is impossible to predict
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
unlawful
actions
at
this
age,
while
others think the opposite. I strongly agree with the former statement, and
this
essay will explain why. First and foremost, during young
children
's growth, most of them make mistakes which is not reasonable to assume that they will commit the crime later. It is quite common, especially among males, to push, hit and
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in unfair
actions
while
interacting with others.
For example
, it is proved that
males'
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males
show examples
hormones need to be released through active play and physical
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
.
As a result
, when
children
lack the environment for releasing their energy, they start being rude
using
Correct word choice
and using
show examples
physical strength.
Hence
, some scientists might consider these
actions
as a sign of criminality, when in fact, it is just the environment that needs to be improved.
Furthermore
, even though criminal records can be often observed among
uncessful
Correct your spelling
successful
unsuccessful
families, it does not mean that the
child
will follow their experience.
In contrast
, in some cases, observing negative communication and
actions
of parents, young individuals will try to act differently in the future.
Moreover
, educating
children
about fairness, rules and manners will guide them to build awareness about bad and good
actions
.
For instance
, primary and secondary schools in Australia help young students develop empathy, care, and respect for others, using buddy programs.
As a result
,
children
learn not just from teachers, but from their peers by interacting and playing with them. In conclusion, it is quite unlikely to predict
children
's criminality at the age of 3, as a
child
goes through various behavioural patterns throughout their life. Providing access to education
and
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apply
show examples
understanding challenging behaviours and managing them will lead to kind, intelligent and self-aware individuals.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, make sure to address the question directly throughout your essay. In the introduction, clearly state your opinion on the prompt; this helps to immediately show that you understand the question and have a clear stance. In your body paragraphs, consistently link your examples and arguments back to the question to ensure you're fully addressing what's been asked.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, your essay demonstrates a good logical structure and sequence. To enhance it further, consider varying your linking words and phrases more to showcase a broader range of cohesive devices. Additionally, clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could help to guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.

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