IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, working out has been of much interest to the general public. Some assert that going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for
health
Use synonyms
 care.
However
Linking Words
, others deem that running and climbing stairs in daily life are more effective
instead
Linking Words
 of going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
. Some argue that working out at the
gym
Use synonyms
 is a better way. Because there are usually professional trainers at the
gym
Use synonyms
, it has the advantage of being safe, and easy and learning how to
exercise
Use synonyms
 and how to use
exercise
Use synonyms
 equipment based on various knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is true that it is difficult to learn the exact way to
exercise
Use synonyms
 by yourself.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is a higher risk of injury if you
exercise
Use synonyms
 alone, so going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 and exercising with a trainer or
exercise
Use synonyms
 professional is effective for keeping your
health
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if you go to the
gym
Use synonyms
 and
exercise
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
, you are more likely to be motivated by watching other people
exercise
Use synonyms
 and
exercise
Use synonyms
 harder.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others think that methods
such
Linking Words
 as walking, jumping, and going up and down stairs are more effective ways to
exercise
Use synonyms
 in daily life.
First,
Linking Words
it can reduce the cost compared to going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, people can freely access
exercise
Use synonyms
 regardless of age, place, and time. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 walking alone and exercising using stairs is easier and can reduce financial burden by simply exercising, going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
 can improve your
health
Use synonyms
 through safer and more accurate
exercise
Use synonyms
. I think people don't know how to
exercise
Use synonyms
 effectively, easily, and accurately.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think you should go to a professional
gym
Use synonyms
 or
gym
Use synonyms
 with an expert to learn
health
Use synonyms
 care.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to enhance structure and readability.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points further with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking words to improve the flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: