Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?
Education
is important in life. Some people even move overseas to pursue higher Use synonyms
education
despite its costly price. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss the positive development it creates Linking Words
to
individuals Change preposition
for
such
as greater opportunities and global competency.
Linking Words
To begin
with, one of the most significant benefits of studying abroad is that it opens up various opportunities Linking Words
to
people. It is especially beneficial if one Change preposition
for
will choose
to go back and work in his Wrong verb form
chooses
country
, as it is often Use synonyms
connotated
that students who graduated overseas Verb problem
noted
were
smarter. Wrong verb form
are
For instance
, a jobseeker who studied Linking Words
Change preposition
at
from
Harvard University Change preposition
at
will
Verb problem
is
more
likely to land a job compared to his competitor who finished his school locally. Add a missing verb
be more
This
is because the employer would automatically think that the Linking Words
prospect
employee was able to withstand the challenges of living and finishing school in a foreign Replace the word
prospective
country
.
Use synonyms
In addition
to that, it Linking Words
also
builds up the competency of the person. Universities overseas have access to better Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
such
as computer and science laboratories, bigger gymnasiums, and libraries. Exposure to Linking Words
this
kind of Linking Words
education
allows the individual to enhance their skills and competency. Use synonyms
For example
, when a graduate nurse from Linking Words
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
country
Use synonyms
decide
to work overseas, she Change the verb form
decides
tend
to get intimidated Change the verb form
tends
with
other colleagues as she does not know how to operate a machine which is not available in her Change preposition
by
country
. Use synonyms
Thus
, studying in different Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
exposes Fix the agreement mistake
countries
individual
to better Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
education
Use synonyms
therefore
improving Linking Words
his
skills.
In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of Correct pronoun usage
their
stuying
in other Correct your spelling
studying
staying
Use synonyms
country
are far greater than its expensive tuition Fix the agreement mistake
countries
fee
. It does not only open doors of opportunities, Fix the agreement mistake
fees
Linking Words
as well as
Rephrase
but it also
improve
one's ability.Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
Submitted by yoko.onerom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction could be stronger by specifically stating your opinion on whether the trend of studying abroad is positive or negative, rather than suggesting you'll discuss the positive aspects. This will make your stance clearer from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs would benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph more distinctly. This helps the reader understand your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Include a range of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills. Avoid repetition where possible to keep the text engaging.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your opinion more clearly to reinforce your argument. This strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.