Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Education
is important in life. Some people even move overseas to pursue higher
education
despite its costly price. In
this
essay, I will discuss the positive development it creates
to
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for
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individuals
such
as greater opportunities and global competency.
To begin
with, one of the most significant benefits of studying abroad is that it opens up various opportunities
to
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for
show examples
people. It is especially beneficial if one
will choose
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chooses
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to go back and work in his
country
, as it is often
connotated
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noted
show examples
that students who graduated overseas
were
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are
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smarter.
For instance
, a jobseeker who studied
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at
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from
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at
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Harvard University
will
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is
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more
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be more
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likely to land a job compared to his competitor who finished his school locally.
This
is because the employer would automatically think that the
prospect
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prospective
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employee was able to withstand the challenges of living and finishing school in a foreign
country
.
In addition
to that, it
also
builds up the competency of the person. Universities overseas have access to better
education
such
as computer and science laboratories, bigger gymnasiums, and libraries. Exposure to
this
kind of
education
allows the individual to enhance their skills and competency.
For example
, when a graduate nurse from
developing
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a developing
show examples
country
decide
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decides
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to work overseas, she
tend
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tends
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to get intimidated
with
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by
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other colleagues as she does not know how to operate a machine which is not available in her
country
.
Thus
, studying in different
country
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countries
show examples
exposes
individual
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individuals
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to better
education
therefore
improving
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
skills. In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of
stuying
Correct your spelling
studying
staying
in other
country
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countries
show examples
are far greater than its expensive tuition
fee
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fees
show examples
. It does not only open doors of opportunities,
as well as
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but it also
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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one's ability.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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task achievement
The introduction could be stronger by specifically stating your opinion on whether the trend of studying abroad is positive or negative, rather than suggesting you'll discuss the positive aspects. This will make your stance clearer from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs would benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph more distinctly. This helps the reader understand your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Include a range of sentence structures and more advanced vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills. Avoid repetition where possible to keep the text engaging.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, restate your opinion more clearly to reinforce your argument. This strengthens the overall coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • personal development
  • exposure
  • global perspective
  • higher quality education
  • specialized programs
  • research facilities
  • enriching
  • career prospects
  • international experience
  • cross-cultural competencies
  • competitive job market
  • culture shock
  • isolation
  • mental health
  • academic performance
  • brain drain
  • educated workforce
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