Chart illustrates the proportion of the UK population to eat fruit and vegetables five times per day from 2001 to 2008.

Chart illustrates the proportion of the UK population to eat fruit and vegetables five times per day from 2001 to 2008.
The presented bar chart shows the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of British people who
eat
Wrong verb form
ate
show examples
fruit and
vegetables
5 times daily between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
, it can be seen that the number of women
eaten
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
fruit and
vegetables
was the highest in all mentioned
years
.
Additionally
, all three different groups experienced a rise until 2006, and
then
a small fall can be seen to the end of the period. In detail, in the first three
years
, the proportion of having fruit and
vegetables
for children and men remained steadily at 12% and 17% respectively,
while
in these
years
an
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
in the usage of women can be observed between almost 20% and 27% on a daily basis.
Furthermore
, In 2004, the percentage of women and children was approximately one to two,
whereas
the men group consisted of 20 per cent of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population. In the following 2
years
, the peak of over one-thirds was reached by females,
while
males and
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
hit the peak in 2007 at around 27% and a quarter.
Moreover
,
at the end
of the period, the ratio of eating
vegetables
and fruits per day for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK citizens declined slightly by almost 2 % for each.
Submitted by royakarimi435 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words vegetables, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: