Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays some
people
claim that companies should hire
people
who can
work
alone meanwhile others consider that companies should employ
people
who can do a teamwork well and follow instructions.
This
essay will discuss why
both
ideas
and my support might be acceptable and give appropriate reasons in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, innovation and independence might be appreciated by some employers because they can choose and hire talented and skilled
workers
.
Consequently
, managers will
then
spend less money on employees’ salaries by picking these
people
instead
of hiring a wide range of staff.
In addition
,
workers
who know how to
work
independently tend to think fast and bring fresh
ideas
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the company.
Moreover
, these employees can manage difficult situations by themselves
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
might reduce the burden of unfulfilled tasks on the management.
Nevertheless
, the opposite opinion about
recruiting
Correct article usage
the recruiting
show examples
approach is worth the discussion. There are several benefits of hiring
people
who are able to
work
in a team, are always manageable and follow instructions.
First,
employees who are good at teamwork might help their
co-
Correct your spelling
coworkers
show examples
workers
and create a collaborative environment and friendly atmosphere, which
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
their colleagues.
Moreover
, the amount of
work
is distributed evenly between
workers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
leading to mutual equality and possibly higher productivity in the company. In conclusion,
both
ideas
have their own respective points in hiring
people
.
This
essay discussed why
both
ideas
of hiring approach might be accepted and it essay provided appropriate reasons. Generally, companies should find a balance between good team
workers
and individual
workers
because
both
sides might well influence company growth.
Submitted by dchistilina03 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides reasons for each perspective. However, it could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the arguments further. Additionally, try to make your stance more clearly articulated in the introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Nevertheless, there are areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow of the essay. Linking phrases and connectors can help in achieving better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea that is effectively developed and supported. The essay should maintain a consistent and logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
To improve the comprehensive nature of the ideas, delve deeper into the discussion points and consider multiple facets of the argument. This will demonstrate a more thorough understanding and analysis of the topic.
task achievement
The essay successfully discusses both views and presents a balanced argument. There is a clear effort to understand and explain each perspective, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in presenting the ideas logically.
coherence cohesion
Main points are adequately supported, though there is room for further elaboration and integration of specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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