1.Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over how to allocate national coffers effectively.
While
some hold a statement that technological investment in exploring outer space should be made, the opposite claims that spending on other aspects can bring more tremendous benefits. The former is valid to some extent, meanwhile, I am an advocate of the latter. Without a shadow of a doubt, splurging the budget on
cosmet
Correct your spelling
cosmetic
exploration can be conducive to
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
lives in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
distant future. In
this
day and age, the natural surroundings have been alarmingly exacerbated by reckless actions and greedy needs of humans, which leads to the fact that it is possible for the Earth to become uninhabitable
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
. By greatly developing cutting-edge pieces of equipment to dig deeper into the unknown universe, people can pave the way for finding other alternative livable planets which can potentially replace the Earth if extinct.
For example
, the Moon or Mars can be cited as a gateway for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
to understand the whole universe. If there is any source of water and oxygen in those places, they can be people’s future shelters.
Hence
, cashing in high-tech gizmos to have a firmer grasp of
cosmet
Correct your spelling
cosmetic
can be immensely advantageous for many years to come.
While
the merit of money well-spent on space-discovering technologies is widely acknowledged, other more essential aspects should be focused more, especially education and the healthcare system. Because some certain countries which are quite underdeveloped and impoverished are not suitable for squandering too much money on space exploration, which makes little difference to their current serious situation, those two backbone industries can bring more positive impacts on the productivity of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
workforce.
For example
, by allocating the national budget to improve facilities in schools or hospitals and offering incentives to reduce
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
burden for students and patients, the government can ensure a better-educated and healthier source of manpower devoting their lives to the nation, which directly boosts the country’s economic strength.
Thus
, schooling and medicare care are two specific fields that a country should concentrate on investing in. In conclusion, it is undeniable that cashing in advanced technology to explore space is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
in the far future for human existence, for some countries, cashing in other essential facets like education and
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
system can do wonders more.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question throughout, and consistently maintains a clear stance on the issue. Try to integrate the discussion of space exploration with the immediate and pressing needs of some countries more seamlessly to bridge the thematic gap.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, consider varying your use of linking phrases and transition words to enhance the flow of your essay. While your structure is clear and logical, more nuanced transitions can enrich connections between ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: