IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have recently moved to a different house. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter -Explain why you have moved -Describe the new apartment -Invite him or her to pay a visit

#house #friend #-explain #-describe #apartment #-invite #visit
Dear Margot, I hope are you well. I'm writing
this
 letter because I miss you so much and I'd like to tell you about my new house. As you say, I've moved
in
Change preposition
to
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 a new house in Bologna, because my company promoted me
as
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to
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 SEO manager; the new job's location is
fantatic
Correct your spelling
fantastic
.
Firstly
, I love
this
 city and my new house! It's a small flat
at
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on
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fourth
Add an article
the fourth
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 floor; the kitchen is
cozy
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cosy
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 and its style is vintage. Oh, my bedroom is the greatest room in my new flat. It
is paint
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is painted
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 green and yellow, and my bed is
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
. I think that you will like it so much.
On the other hand
, I don't like my diving room; it has a modern style that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
incoerence
Correct your spelling
incoherence
 with other
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
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.
However
, I found
out
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apply
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a beautiful TV in the garage. I can't wait to see your face when we will watch our
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
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 film with
this
! When would you like to go here? I can't
waint
Correct your spelling
wait
want
 that moment! Let me
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
:) See you soon, Elisa
Submitted by bollinielisa4 on

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Coherence & cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea to improve coherence. For instance, separate descriptions of your house from discussions about your job or plans for watching films.
Coherence & cohesion
Use a more varied and complex sentence structure to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing. Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and incorporate conjunctions for smoother transitions.
Task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance the professionalism of your letter. Errors such as 'I hope are you well' should be corrected to 'I hope you are well'. Correct terminology is key, for example, 'diving room' should be 'dining room'.
Task achievement
When inviting your friend to visit, provide specific suggestions for activities or a particular time to make the invitation more compelling and personalized.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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