Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Do you think the advantages of art subjects outweigh the disadvantages?

In my opinion, I think that
art
subject
can bring about more issues for
children
in the
future
compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of
children
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
art
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
Firstly
,
children
can learn to express themselves through creativity. The
children
can learn
art
such
as music, dance, and painting for relaxation after having
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
day
with heavy subjects in order to make a balance in their
day
.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the learners a positive attitude and energy to start
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
day
fresh,
for instance
, having a dance class during the
school
day
, helps the students to remove all the stress and improve their performance during their studies because they can concentrate on their core subjects and study well for their exams. Having
art
subject
is
true
Change the adjective
truly
show examples
essential and useful for
children
at
school
to balance their study period.
Nevertheless
, despite the advantages above, I believe
children
could face serious drawbacks from attending
art
classes in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools . One potentially dangerous problem is that the
children
will not focus on essential
skills
such
as developing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning programming
such
as coding, python and other languages for computers. These kinds of
skills
is
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are
show examples
very crucial for their
future
. Nowadays, most of the current and
future
jobs depend on programmers, if the
children
didn’t focus on developing programming
skills
, they might
didn’t
Verb problem
not
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find
job
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jobs
show examples
in the
future
. Giving a clear example, to work as
engineer
Add an article
an engineer
show examples
in any academic field ,you should be aware and have all computer
skills
to apply. The engineering graduates should have all Microsoft
skills
and programming
skills
such
as +CC, python, MATLAB and other programs to solve complex problems in their subjects. Another obvious issue is that
art
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
will not help in developing the personalities of the
children
.
Children
will not have time to attend workshops and seminars
such
as presentation
skills
and debating classes. The
children
should learn during
school
through workshops or seminars how to improve their
characters
Fix the agreement mistake
character
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
presentation
skills
.
For example
, learning presentation
skills
can give them the confidence how to present and pitch their
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
infant
Correct your spelling
in front
show examples
of many colloquies.
Moreover
, attending debating classes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
them how to
defence
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defend
show examples
their opinions against their
compotators
Correct your spelling
competitors
show examples
with respect.
Therefore
,
art
subject
is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time for developing their personality and essential
skills
for their
future
. In conclusion,
art
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
bring serious problems for
children
’s
future
in developing programming
skills
or developing their personalities far
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
any of the minor benefits that could result from
children
being involved in
art
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Develop your argument by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of art subjects in greater depth. Adding more detailed examples and elaborating on how these aspects directly affect students could strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your essay more logically. While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, the transition between ideas could be smoother. Utilize linking words effectively to guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, breaking down large paragraphs into smaller ones can make your essay more digestible and improve its flow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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