The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, various gaming platforms have been significantly developed.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
trend, spending time on electronic
games
Use synonyms
become tremendously popular everywhere. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will elaborate on the merits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon. There are several advantages that are worth considering.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
people
Use synonyms
can release the stresses that are derived from their daily routines including working, studying and attending classes by playing
games
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they can feel more energetic and even feel achievement when they accomplish some tasks in the game.
In addition
Linking Words
to
this
Linking Words
, as playing
games
Use synonyms
is popular all over the world,
people
Use synonyms
can enjoy
games
Use synonyms
with a myriad of
people
Use synonyms
who are from other countries.
Thus
Linking Words
, it helps them to make friends and to gain social
skills
Use synonyms
. On top of that, to have a conversation with foreign friends,
people
Use synonyms
will consider learning a second language, which affects them in a positive way. In spite of the merits described above,
however
Linking Words
, it can lead to adverse detrimental consequences. First of all,
people
Use synonyms
can waste too much time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
Use synonyms
as they can carry their gaming tools everywhere.
This
Linking Words
can induce them to get addicted to playing
games
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
issue
make
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative impacts on their daily lives
as well as
Linking Words
work and school lives, preventing
people
Use synonyms
from being productive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it can be harmful, especially for children. They should go through several crucial activities with their friends or parents to grow cognitive development and foam the creating
skills
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, spending most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on
games
Use synonyms
can make them miss the period and opportunities for it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
will influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children's lives regarding communication and social
skills
Use synonyms
in the long run. In conclusion,
whereas
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend could make
people
Use synonyms
to be lively and develop communication
skills
Use synonyms
, it can hinder
people
Use synonyms
from being productive and getting the younger generation developed.
Submitted by mirea0124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your Task Response, include more specific examples to support your points. Providing well-rounded arguments with concrete examples will strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your logical structure to further enhance the flow and clarity of your essay. Ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly will give your writing more coherence and a smoother narrative.
task achievement
You have correctly identified and addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of electronic games, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to a well-organized structure.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases helps in maintaining a good flow between the points discussed in your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive functions
  • problem-solving skills
  • spatial awareness
  • multitasking
  • addiction
  • attention span
  • online multiplayer games
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • social isolation
  • economic impact
  • revenue
  • financial strain
  • stress relief
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • sedentary lifestyle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: