Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the contemporary era, there has been cutting-edge technology.
Thus
,
that is
easier access to online shopping in enormous ways. The topic has twins separate between
people
who agreed and
people
who disagreed. I will give my opinion in the essay below. The view
people
who saw
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
about access to the shopping easier in nowadays. In my opinion, I think why
people
saying
about
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apply
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that.
Firstly
,
at
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apply
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the modern era has a wide range of
devised
Replace the word
devices
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including iPad mobile phones and
also
computers and so on.
Thus
,
people
who want to pay attention have made it easier
if
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to
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shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
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on mobile phones.
In addition
, shopping online
it
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apply
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is mostly convenient for
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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something if they haven't free time or busy time that made can't go outside
the
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apply
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shopping online it is their choice. Meanwhile,
the
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apply
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shopping online
there have
Wrong verb form
has
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many
of
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apply
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promotion
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promotional
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sales that
the
Add a missing verb
are the
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best
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
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if
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for
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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want to buy something cheaper.
However
, in the part of disagree, I think some
people
who were status poor it's might be hurt when they want to buy, but they can't buy about those. another
og
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opinion, I think
that is
also
negative ways
on
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online.
Such
as it's might be cheating
has
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might have
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occurred on the application online that
a
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apply
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might be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
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some
people
disagree about to paying attention something in
online
Add an article
the online
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application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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. Perhaps, some
people
think if go outside it can more
find
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apply
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interesting in the shop more than online. In conclusion,
it
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I
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agree and disagree
this
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with this
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depending on
people
who
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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prefer
themslves
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
Submitted by suchanya3105 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on constructing clear, coherent sentences. This can be improved by practicing simple sentence structures before gradually moving to more complex ones.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure: Introduction, body paragraphs clearly discussing each view, and a conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
Work on task achievement by clearly addressing the prompt. Make sure to discuss both views fully and provide your own opinion. Each part of the task should be given attention.
General Advice
Revise your work for grammatical errors and work on expanding your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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