IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact in local culture. What do you think have been the impact? Do you think the advantage overweigh disadvantage?

#exposure #media #films #tv #magazines #impact #culture #advantage #overweigh
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In the modern world, media plays an important in our daily life.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
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 of foreign
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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likes
Wrong verb form
like
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 movies,
T.V
Correct your spelling
TV
 shows and other types of magazines has a significant change in the local culture. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it has more merits than demerits. Mainly, films help to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication skills. Nowadays, youngsters
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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 to do jobs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international and multinational companies. So,
this
Linking Words
 platform helps them to learn the language and improve
the
Change the word
their
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foreign accent.
Thus
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, the opportunity to work
in
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apply
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abroad and promotion in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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are
Change the verb form
are also enhanced
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also
Linking Words
 enhance. Likely, the shows and magazines
are help
Change the verb form
are helping
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 to know the foreign culture. Their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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, dress code, climate,
attitudes
Correct word choice
and attitudes
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 are much different than our traditional customs. It publishes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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interviews of
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such
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apply
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famous actors, business persons or other
modelers
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modellers
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. That would motivate and inspire
the
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apply
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teenagers
as well as
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 adults to do something different.
In contrast
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to
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apply
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, the
over influence
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over-influence
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 will affect the traditional culture and backgrounds. In India, folk dance is one of the traditional dances. Unfortunately, nowadays the youth are attracted to
the
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apply
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western pop songs and that kind of
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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. It was not unfamiliar to everyone, BTS is a famous Korean band popular all over the world. When they plan to stop the band, the people in the other countries conduct a campaign for them.
To conclude
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,
the
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apply
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international cultures aid individuals to learn about new things and achieve some skills through
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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. the results of the international
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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 showing more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by fspt1234 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the impact of international media on local cultures and your stance on whether its advantages outweigh the disadvantages. A more defined thesis statement would make your position clearer.
task response
Develop your ideas more comprehensively with specific, relevant examples. While you mention aspects like improvement of communication skills and exposure to foreign cultures, incorporating detailed examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay by organizing it into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different main point. Your essay should have a clear introduction, at least two body paragraphs discussing your main points, and a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure your ideas flow naturally from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. This not only helps in making your argument more cohesive but also guides the reader through your essay smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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