Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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Governments are too much sensitive
about
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to
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attention-grabbing tragedies like
earthquake
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earthquakes
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and
flood
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floods
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,
while
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some opponents believe that they are not important in comparison with obstacles around our
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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. Actually, they do not know those
disasters
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cause
a
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apply
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mass killings. Allocating a budget, and resources to increase the public knowledge about different actions during these kinds of
disasters
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can save lots of lives. Because they are considered serious threats and will kill lots of
people
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.
For instance
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, in the
last
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year
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year,
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a huge earthquake happened in Turkey. Unfortunately,
a
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the
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number of
people
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who had hurt was high
due to
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a lack of knowledge.
As a result
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, if the government tried to teach them so many
people
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would be alive today.
Additionally
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, when a disaster heats a country with weak infrastructure, for sure, the damage will be huge.
Therefore
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, authorities should spend
adequate
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an adequate
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amount of money to renew, and rebuild cities to save
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people
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people's
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lives.
For example
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, Japan is an obvious sample that shows how much giving attention to these events is crucial. Every year, they face severe earthquakes with no damage because all buildings in
this
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area are built
floated
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floating
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. So they will not be devastated during
disasters
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. In
this
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case, not only government’s attention will prevent
people
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from dying, but
also
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they can make secure and safe places for their population. In conclusion, there is no doubt that in our living areas
would
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there would
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be lots of threats, but big
disasters
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will make more dangerous situations. So, it is vital to persuade governments to use their resources to make
people
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more knowledgeable about how they should act
these
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in these
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times.
Submitted by afrough on

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coherence cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay is well-organized and flows logically from one paragraph to another. Utilize clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay more effectively by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and summarizing your argument in the conclusion. A stronger stance in both can greatly enhance the overall impact of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. Make sure every paragraph contributes to your argument and clearly addresses the prompt. Additionally, consider both sides of the argument for a more balanced approach.
task achievement
Make your ideas clearer by breaking them down into more concise sentences. This will also help with logical flow and readability, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • headline-grabbing
  • disasters
  • natural disasters
  • media coverage
  • sensationalism
  • local issues
  • funding
  • executive resources
  • resource allocation
  • risk awareness
  • domestic fires
  • road safety
  • food storage
  • education initiatives
  • community engagement
  • local government
  • immediate disaster relief
  • long-term benefits
  • local risk mitigation
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