A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Although
Linking Words

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some claim that
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of
animlas
Correct your spelling
animals

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should be banned because they have rights similar to humans, there is another, and it is
also
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in my favour, that it is necessary to use
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Correct article usage
the satisfication
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satisfication
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satisfaction

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of humans' needs. In
this
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essay, I will investigate both sides, and I
also
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express my opinion.
To begin
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with, some suppose that
people
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are not allowed to
exploite
Correct your spelling
exploit

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animals
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, and it is against their rights.
Firstly
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, carrying out some
exprimentations
Correct your spelling
experimentations
experimentation

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on
animals
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can put some specific
species
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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danger of
extiction
Correct your spelling
extinction

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.
People
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are using
animals
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as test cases dramatically, leading to a decrease in the number of particular
animals
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. If it continues without any regulations, the number of endangered
species
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will soar. The second detrimental effect of exploiting
animals
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is disturbing ecological balance.
I
Correct your spelling
In

The word I doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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nature every
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species'life
Correct your spelling
species life

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depends on another
species
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Interuppting
Correct your spelling
Interrupting

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this
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cycle can negatively affect their natural habitat, leading to more damaging consequences in nature.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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, which I
also
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side with, claim that
animals
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must be employed for
Correct article usage
the satisfication
show examples
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction

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of
people
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's needs. At
first,
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using
animlas
Correct your spelling
animals

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in some
biologic
Replace the word
biological

The word biologic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
experiments is
inevetible
Correct your spelling
inevitable
inevitably

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. Obviously, experts need to evaluate the effects of their medicine using
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Accessing the general state of
expoited
Correct your spelling
exploited
exported

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animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary

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to approve medicine
effectivity
Replace the word
effectiveness

The word effectivity doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
Secondly
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,
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are instrumental in supplying food. With
regrad
Correct your spelling
regard
regards

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to exponential population growth around the world,
people
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are forced to employ
animals
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for their food.
To conclude
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, some
people
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believe that exploiting
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is inhumane
whereas
Linking Words

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others maintain that
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must be employed for the
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction

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of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs

It seems that need may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

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, I agree with the second group because I believe that
people
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are
aloowed
Correct your spelling
allowed

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to use
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their
bilogical
Correct your spelling
biological

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research and
providing
Change the verb form
to provide

Providing doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
amount of food.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that outlines your viewpoint and previews the arguments you will make. Your conclusion should summarise your arguments and restate your opinion.
Cohesion and Cohere
Make sure your essay has a logical flow, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Supporting Examples
Support each argument with clear, relevant examples. While you have provided some reasoning, more specific examples could strengthen your arguments.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will help make your arguments more clear and persuasive.
Spelling and Accuracy
Be cautious with spelling and ensure proper use of terminology, especially concerning the topic. For example, it's 'exploit' not 'exploite', and 'biological' not 'bilogical'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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