IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their needs, for example, for food and research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Although
Linking Words
 some claim that
exploitation
Correct article usage
the exploitation
show examples
 of
animlas
Correct your spelling
animals
 should be banned because they have rights similar to humans, there is another, and it is
also
Linking Words
 in my favour, that it is necessary to use
animals
Use synonyms
 for
Correct article usage
the satisfication
show examples
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 of humans' needs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will investigate both sides, and I
also
Linking Words
 express my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some suppose that
people
Use synonyms
 are not allowed to
exploite
Correct your spelling
exploit
animals
Use synonyms
, and it is against their rights.
Firstly
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, carrying out some
exprimentations
Correct your spelling
experimentations
experimentation
 on
animals
Use synonyms
 can put some specific
species
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
danger of
extiction
Correct your spelling
extinction
.
People
Use synonyms
 are using
animals
Use synonyms
 as test cases dramatically, leading to a decrease in the number of particular
animals
Use synonyms
. If it continues without any regulations, the number of endangered
species
Use synonyms
 will soar. The second detrimental effect of exploiting
animals
Use synonyms
 is disturbing ecological balance.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 nature every
Use synonyms
species'life
Correct your spelling
species life
 depends on another
species
Use synonyms
.
Interuppting
Correct your spelling
Interrupting
this
Linking Words
 cycle can negatively affect their natural habitat, leading to more damaging consequences in nature.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
, which I
also
Linking Words
 side with, claim that
animals
Use synonyms
 must be employed for
Correct article usage
the satisfication
show examples
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 of
people
Use synonyms
's needs. At
first,
Linking Words
using
animlas
Correct your spelling
animals
 in some
biologic
Replace the word
biological
show examples
 experiments is
inevetible
Correct your spelling
inevitable
inevitably
. Obviously, experts need to evaluate the effects of their medicine using
animals
Use synonyms
. Accessing the general state of
expoited
Correct your spelling
exploited
exported
animals
Use synonyms
 is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to approve medicine
effectivity
Replace the word
effectiveness
show examples
.
Secondly
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,
animals
Use synonyms
 are instrumental in supplying food. With
regrad
Correct your spelling
regard
regards
 to exponential population growth around the world,
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to employ
animals
Use synonyms
 for their food.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that exploiting
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 is inhumane
whereas
Linking Words
 others maintain that
animals
Use synonyms
 must be employed for the
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 of
people
Use synonyms
's
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I agree with the second group because I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 are
aloowed
Correct your spelling
allowed
 to use
animals
Use synonyms
 for their
bilogical
Correct your spelling
biological
 research and
providing
Change the verb form
to provide
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
 amount of food.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that outlines your viewpoint and previews the arguments you will make. Your conclusion should summarise your arguments and restate your opinion.
Cohesion and Cohere
Make sure your essay has a logical flow, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Supporting Examples
Support each argument with clear, relevant examples. While you have provided some reasoning, more specific examples could strengthen your arguments.
Grammar and Sentence Structure
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will help make your arguments more clear and persuasive.
Spelling and Accuracy
Be cautious with spelling and ensure proper use of terminology, especially concerning the topic. For example, it's 'exploit' not 'exploite', and 'biological' not 'bilogical'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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