The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There is disagreement regarding the issue of whether the
government
should sometimes infringe on people
's freedom
for the security of society
. The main point of contention is related to the appropriateness of this
government
action, but personally, I believe that this
infringement on people
's freedom
should be prohibited because the freedom
of citizens
is more important than social safety.
In most cases, infringing on civil freedom
should be prohibited because this
can lead to positive outcomes. This
is because protecting freedom
means that people
can pursue their wants and dreams without any limitations from the government
. For example
, people
from Western countries like the United States emphasize the importance of personal freedom
as a core value of society
, and this
is the value that allows them to follow and achieve their dreams. As a result
, letting people
live freely without government
interference is the most appropriate relationship between a government
and its citizens
. This
shows that infringing on the freedom
of citizens
should not be allowed in most situations.
In contrast
, it is true that allowing the government
to limit people
's freedom
can help a society
to remain safe from violent crime. This
is because harsh government
regulations that restrict people
's freedoms will prevent crime. For example
, strong government
prohibitions on the civil right to own a gun help to keep society
safe from gun-related massacres in public places like shopping malls and movie theaters
. Change the spelling
theatres
As a result
, people
can feel comfortable and safe when they visit crowded places. This
shows that limiting some civil freedoms can increase the safety of the whole society
.
In conclusion, infringing on the freedoms of citizens
is a contentious topic because there are opinions that support and oppose this
basic idea. However
, I personally believe that the government
should not infringe on the rights of citizens
unless it is absolutely necessary.Submitted by lss870311 on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, try to clearly state your position throughout the essay. Ensure the introduction succinctly introduces your viewpoint and that the conclusion reinforces it without introducing new ideas. Additionally, expand on your examples by exploring them in more depth to better illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth transition between ideas. Consider paragraphing more effectively to clearly separate your arguments and points. Lastly, provide more specific examples to support your main points, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite