The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #people #freedom #security #society

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There is disagreement regarding the issue of whether the

government

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should sometimes infringe on

people

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freedom

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for the security of

society

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. The main point of contention is related to the appropriateness of

this

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government

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action, but personally, I believe that

this

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infringement on

people

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freedom

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should be prohibited because the

freedom

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citizens

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is more important than social safety. In most cases, infringing on civil

freedom

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should be prohibited because

this

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can lead to positive outcomes.

This

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is because protecting

freedom

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means that

people

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can pursue their wants and dreams without any limitations from the

government

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For example

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people

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from Western countries like the United States emphasize the importance of personal

freedom

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as a core value of

society

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, and

this

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is the value that allows them to follow and achieve their dreams.

As a result

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, letting

people

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live freely without

government

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interference is the most appropriate relationship between a

government

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and its

citizens

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This

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shows that infringing on the

freedom

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citizens

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should not be allowed in most situations.

In contrast

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, it is true that allowing the

government

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to limit

people

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freedom

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can help a

society

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to remain safe from violent crime.

This

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is because harsh

government

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regulations that restrict

people

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's freedoms will prevent crime.

For example

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, strong

government

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prohibitions on the civil right to own a gun help to keep

society

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safe from gun-related massacres in public places like shopping malls and movie

theaters

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theatres

show examples

As a result

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people

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can feel comfortable and safe when they visit crowded places.

This

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shows that limiting some civil freedoms can increase the safety of the whole

society

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. In conclusion, infringing on the freedoms of

citizens

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is a contentious topic because there are opinions that support and oppose

this

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basic idea.

However

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, I personally believe that the

government

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should not infringe on the rights of

citizens

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unless it is absolutely necessary.

Submitted by lss870311 on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, try to clearly state your position throughout the essay. Ensure the introduction succinctly introduces your viewpoint and that the conclusion reinforces it without introducing new ideas. Additionally, expand on your examples by exploring them in more depth to better illustrate your points.

Coherence & Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth transition between ideas. Consider paragraphing more effectively to clearly separate your arguments and points. Lastly, provide more specific examples to support your main points, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that individuals are born to be leaders, others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough excercise? What can be done about this problem?

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?