Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport Write an email to your friend. In your email • recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn • explain how your friend could learn this sport • suggest that you both learn this sport together You do NOT need to write any addresses.Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #addresses

Dear Lisa, It really happy to hear that you are planning to explore a new type of exercise

Change preposition

apply

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this

winter. I do suggest swimming! I am sure it is the best choice for you as you know need to worry about the weather condition, the inside pool

Add a missing verb

is alway

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alway

Correct your spelling

always

warm,

spcially

Correct your spelling

specially

especially

in the water.

In addition

, you can continue

swim

Wrong verb form

swimming

show examples

inside in summer as I know you don't like

exercise

Fix the infinitive

to exercise

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under the strong sunshine

, .

Change the punctuation

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For you, I think you'd better follow a coach at

Correct article usage

the begining

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begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

since basic underwater skills and

safey

Correct your spelling

safety

rules are important. Actually, I noticed that there was a poster in my community

center

Change the spelling

centre

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, including information about the new swimming club. I will check

details

Correct article usage

the details

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with a

reciption

Correct your spelling

reception

later. And, I am just thinking it is a good idea we join the club together!

Then

, we may go swimming in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

morning and have a simple lunch after. That will be a great chance for us to catch up. let me know your decision. Best regards, Carey

Submitted by careyche on Wed Feb 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity. While the letter has a general flow, some paragraphs could be more focused on individual aspects of the advice given.

coherence cohesion

Consider revisiting your letter to correct grammatical mistakes and improve the overall flow. Proper sentence structure and punctuation can enhance the readability and professionalism of your email.

task achievement

To better achieve the task, include more detailed explanations and specific suggestions. For example, elaborate on why swimming is a suitable sport and how exactly a coach can help improve skills and safety.

task achievement

Use polite greetings and sign-offs in your letter to maintain an appropriate tone. However, strive to match the formal or informal tone consistently throughout your communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

170 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Countries with along average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together?

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extend do you agree or disagree?