IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport Write an email to your friend. In your email • recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn • explain how your friend could learn this sport • suggest that you both learn this sport together You do NOT need to write any addresses.Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #addresses
Dear Lisa, It really happy to hear that you are planning to explore a new type of exercise
in
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apply
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this
 winter. I do suggest swimming! I am sure it is the best choice for you as you know need to worry about the weather condition, the inside pool
Add a missing verb
is alway
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alway
Correct your spelling
always
 warm,
spcially
Correct your spelling
specially
especially
 in the water.
In addition
, you can continue
swim
Wrong verb form
swimming
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 inside in summer as I know you don't like
exercise
Fix the infinitive
to exercise
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 under the strong sunshine
, .
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,
.
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 For you, I think you'd better follow a coach at
Correct article usage
the begining
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begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 since basic underwater skills and
safey
Correct your spelling
safety
 rules are important. Actually, I noticed that there was a poster in my community
center
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centre
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, including information about the new swimming club. I will check
details
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the details
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 with a
reciption
Correct your spelling
reception
 later. And, I am just thinking it is a good idea we join the club together!
Then
, we may go swimming in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 morning and have a simple lunch after. That will be a great chance for us to catch up. let me know your decision. Best regards, Carey
Submitted by careyche on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity. While the letter has a general flow, some paragraphs could be more focused on individual aspects of the advice given.
coherence cohesion
Consider revisiting your letter to correct grammatical mistakes and improve the overall flow. Proper sentence structure and punctuation can enhance the readability and professionalism of your email.
task achievement
To better achieve the task, include more detailed explanations and specific suggestions. For example, elaborate on why swimming is a suitable sport and how exactly a coach can help improve skills and safety.
task achievement
Use polite greetings and sign-offs in your letter to maintain an appropriate tone. However, strive to match the formal or informal tone consistently throughout your communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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