As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling,there is a growing demand for more flight. What problems does this have on environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

#tourism #people #demand #flight #environment #measures

Nowadays,when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation, a tendency to travel by plane

due to

the development of tourism can be observed. It is agreed, that

this

issue highly influences

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature

as flight is one of the most common reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

air pollution.

This

essay,

firstly

,will discuss why planes

considered

Add a missing verb

are considered

show examples

to be an impediment to a flourishing environment,followed by an analysis of some solutions which can be suggested to reduce an adverse impact.

To begin

with, tourism is a great development which has a positive impact on

Correct article usage

the countrie's

show examples

countrie's

Correct your spelling

countries

country's

economy,

however

, the demand for more planes can

contributes

Change the verb form

contribute

show examples

to irreparable damage

for

Change preposition

show examples

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

. To illustrate, the plane's energy depends on fuel which polluts air with CO2 and other pestilential gases,

therefore

, our

nature

suffer

Change the verb form

suffers

show examples

from drastic changes.

For example

, global warming appears to be

really

Add an article

a really

the really

show examples

common problem all over the world during the

last

decade and the main cause of

this

is the abuse of internal combustion

engins

Correct your spelling

engines

engine

by humanity.

Moreover

, some rare species of

floura

Correct your spelling

flora

and fauna

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the edge of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exinction

Correct your spelling

extinction

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pollution.

Consequently

, people's desire to explore the world can lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

decline in

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of beautiful places which attract tourists.

On the other hand

, government should

taks

Correct your spelling

take

some measures to reduce

this

issue,

otherwise

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

will suffer

as well as

nature

Furthermore

, actions should be

done

Verb problem

taken

show examples

as soon as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

possible.

For instance

, it would be a great development ,if companies made planes dependent on energy supply.

This

groundbreaking innovation would be the most important in order to provide fresh air for all habitats on the Earth.

In addition

, people should be encouraged to travel by

elecrtic

Correct your spelling

electric

cars when the destination is not far away. To make

this

more realistic, travel by plane should be

accessable

Correct your spelling

accessible

only for long-distance journeys.

Thus

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

measures will reduce pollution and

nature

will be out of danger.

To conclude

this

essay supports the idea that the rising demand in tourism contributes to an adverse impact on

nature

nevertheless

, some solutions can be applied to overcome

this problems

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've covered the general idea, incorporating more specific examples and detailed case studies could enhance the depth and relevance of your arguments. This will help make your response more comprehensive and detailed.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on clarifying the logical structure of your essay. Transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Consider also varying sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your text.

Task Achievement

Enhancing the use of relevant, specific examples will significantly improve your essay. Concrete examples grounded in real-world case studies or statistics can strengthen your arguments, making your points more persuasive and impactful. Aim to integrate examples that directly support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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19Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people travelling,there is a growing demand for more flight. What problems does this have on environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Prison is the best way to punish criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media.Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this ? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?