Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Some teachers claim that
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on the same subject help
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
construction,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others state that does not work. In my opinion, I think that
student
spending time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
subjects
can help their score and develop their talent,
this
essay will discuss both sides. Spending time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
subjects
can develop a
student
's talents.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
some
students
may not be good at math but their PE class
performance
Replace the word
performs
show examples
well.
As a result
, through the different classes
Add a comma
,
show examples
they obtain various opportunities to observe their gifts.
Furthermore
, focusing on different classes increases
students
' horizons.
For example
, when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
learn in high school, they have various classes,
such
as meth, lecture, geography...etc. These
subjects
give them different perspectives to know
this
word. In the end, they are obtained an amount of knowledge.
On the other hand
, some tutors indicate that learning different
subjects
lead to
student
's score decrease. The evidence proves that
students
have a lot of assignments
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
to
do
Wrong verb form
be done
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
could not finish in a limited time.
In addition
,
students
feel frustrated by the homework and are not motivated to finish that.
Overall
, I think that letting
students
accept various
subjects
is better than a single subject. Not only can develop their own characteristics, but
also
increase their foresight.
Submitted by zhanabayev.z on

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Introduction
1. Introduction could be improved by precisely stating the stand and briefly summarizing the ensuing discussion. - Begin with a clear thesis statement that presents your main argument and a brief overview of the reasons behind your stance.
Structure & Flow
2. Work on paragraph structure and transitions to create a smoother, more logical flow between ideas. - Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph is about. Subsequent sentences should expand on this topic with examples or further explanation.
Examples
3. Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. - Examples should be detailed and relevant. They play a crucial role in convincing the reader of your viewpoint.
Language Usage
4. Focus on the accuracy and range of vocabulary and grammar. - Vary your sentence structures and use precise vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas. Avoid repetition by using synonyms.
Task Response
5. Make sure to answer all parts of the question fully. - While you've discussed both views and provided your opinion, ensure that your essay fully explores the implications of each view. Consider adding a comparison of the effectiveness or impact of the two approaches.
Proofreading
6. Carefully proofread your essay to correct spelling errors and improve sentence clarity. - Mistakes can distract from the content and make your essay less convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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