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Band 4

Some people believe that homework should not be given to school children. Others, however, say that homework is an important requirement for children to be able to develop appropriately. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #homework #school #children #requirement
Nowadays, some groups of
people
 in the community hold the view that
homework
 should not be given by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teachers
while
 other
people
 argue that viewpoint. In
this
 essay, I will discuss these two points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and try to provide some examples
as well as
 reasons based on my opinion. On the one hand, there is evidence to support the idea that providing
homework
 to students is stressful and lose their free time.
Consequently
,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 performance on social activity will become lower
due to
 loads of
homework
 provided by educators.
For example
, some youngsters find
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 challenging to cope with problems that can happen in society
since
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 the detrimental impact of having
Correct article usage
a myriad
show examples
myriad
Correct article usage
a myriad
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some parents reckon that
homework
 provides independent learning for their kids in the upcoming years. From my perspective, I
also
 believe that giving
homework
 individually is one of the great approaches to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 new skills for young
people
.
Moreover
,
homework
 can be beneficial if students do
regularly
Correct pronoun usage
it regularly
show examples
.
As a result
, it can lead to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
higher scores
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other peers.
For instance
,
people
 who do effectively their assignments when they were kids growing up may appear valuable results in workplaces because
this
 prepares them to work alone as adults. In conclusion, I assume that
these two point
Change the determiner
this two point
these two points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 have merits and demerits, but I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by lae547918 on

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task achievement
Expand on the examples provided by including more specific details. This helps to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to more clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Try to maintain a more balanced discussion by dedicating equal development to each viewpoint, including your own. This ensures a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and inconsistencies to improve readability and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a specific point or argument. This structure aids the reader in following your line of reasoning.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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