IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In several parts of the world, there is currently a lack of students choosing to study science in universities and colleges. What is the causes? And what will be the effects on society?

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It is true that, in recent decades, the
science
Use synonyms
stream
Use synonyms
 has been low popular among
students
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,
consequently
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 do not desire to choose
science
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 courses around the world. Lack of employment opportunities and
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
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to learn
Change the verb form
learning
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 are behind
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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, it
brings
Verb problem
has
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 numerous
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 on society. There are two crucial causes of
students
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 have not chosen
this
Linking Words
 field. One of the practical reasons is that pupils will hard to obtain employment after completing their graduation in
science
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 major because there are minimum job demands in
job
Add an article
the job
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 market, so youngsters like to choose the high demand job fields like economics and engineering. Another prominent cause is that
science
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 subject is hard to study and understand; it needs more
patients
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patience
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 and
time -consuming
Correct your spelling
is time-consuming
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 unpopular
stream
Use synonyms
 has plenty of endless equations, experiments and projects, so
students
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 who enrolled
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Change preposition
in science
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science
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in science
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
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major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
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 put a lot of effort
to finish
Change preposition
into finishing
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 their degrees as compared to other majors. A minimum ratio of enrollment in
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science
Correct article usage
the science
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stream
Use synonyms
 brings negative impacts on society. One of the main effects is that
Use synonyms
science
Correct article usage
the science
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 field has more demand
due to
Linking Words
 fewer
graduation
Replace the word
graduates
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,
thus
Linking Words
, technological advancement will be mitigated and
people
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people's
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 lives may
be go
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go
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 back to the olden days without
science
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.
For instance
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, smartphone companies
such
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 as Samsung and Apple will not produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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innovative mobiles
along with
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 new features because of
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of
science
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 graduates. Another impact is that individuals may suffer to obtain proper treatments
by
Change preposition
from
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 medical practitioners because of a depletion of
science
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 degree holders.
This
Linking Words
 means
science
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 subject is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 root of doctor's courses. In conclusion,
science
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major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been unpopular among
students
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 reason for hard to find jobs and hard to learn. People will suffer improper medical treatment and it affects
to bring
Verb problem
apply
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technological advancement because of a shortage of chosen
science
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
stream
Fix the agreement mistake
streams
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction broadly outlines the causes and effects you plan to discuss. This sets a clear roadmap for your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on logically structuring your essay. Begin with a clear introductory paragraph, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and conclude with a summary of your points and the implications. Use clear paragraphing.
Task Achievement
Make sure main points in your argument are supported with specific examples or evidence. Instead of general statements, provide concrete examples that underline your arguments.
Task Achievement
For a higher score, delve deeper into each cause and effect, providing more detailed analysis and examples. This shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to your essay's cohesiveness. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and across paragraphs effectively. This will make your arguments flow more smoothly and be easier to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lack of interest
  • Perception
  • Career paths
  • Technological development
  • Skilled professionals
  • Foreign expertise
  • Innovation
  • Economic impacts
  • Scientific advancements
  • Higher education
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