IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
#water #usage #san #diego #california #rest #world
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The chart
has showed
Wrong verb form
shows
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 the information
Change preposition
on that
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 in San
Diego
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County
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,
California
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 and the rest of the world, and
separate
Correct subject-verb agreement
separates
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 the types of
water
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usage
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to
Change preposition
into
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 residential,
industry
Replace the word
industrial
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 and
agriculture
Use synonyms
. First of all, we
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
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 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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residential
use
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. In San
Diego
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County
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, the residential
use
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 is far more than the other two types,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 almost at 60%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
California
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
residential
water
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usage
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 accounts for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
39%. But the situation is totally different
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Worldwide, it
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 over a little place just
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 8%.And
then
Linking Words
 ,change our sights to the industry
water
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usage
Use synonyms
. The proportion in
three
Correct article usage
the three
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area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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 are very similar, there are nearly 33%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 residential was account in
California
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, and the residential
use
Use synonyms
 is equal in Sand
Diego
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County
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 and Worldwide, at 23%. There are
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
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different
Replace the word
differences
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 in
agriculture
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use
Use synonyms
, it takes the majority
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide almost at 69%, and in
California
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 just
account
Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
show examples
 for 28%.In San
Diego
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County
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only 17%
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agriculture
Change preposition
of agriculture
show examples
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is use
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use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 at all. In summary,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 is consumed by homes, industry and
agriculture
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 proportions, different place has different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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affect
Wrong verb form
is affected
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 by many factors.Obversely,
agriculture
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 role character of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in the world.
Submitted by sunnylyu0165 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, water, diego, county, california, usage, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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