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Writing Samples /
Band 3

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic： In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic： #countries #people #fitness #trainer #sports #exercise #classes #development
Viet
Nam
 has experienced various periods of
development
 throughout its history, but the modern era of
development
 can be seen in the mid-1980s with the introduction of economic reforms known as “Renovation”. Since the early 2000s,
Viet
Nam
 has undergone significant changes in several aspects
include
Change the form of the verb
including
show examples
 economy, technology,
infrastructure
, education and
healthcare
.
Firstly
,
Viet
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
Nam
 has witnessed rapid economic growth, the continuous implementation that was initiated under the renovation strategy in the 1980s.
Viet
Nam
 has seen a significant rise, with gross domestic product GDP growing. Foreign investment inflows increased dramatically, and the
development
 of industrial zones around the country.
Secondly
,
infrastructure
development
 was a primary priority area in the early 2000s. Investments were made in transportation networks, energy systems, and urban
infrastructure
. Major projects,
such
 as the construction of highways, bridges and airports.
Thirdly
, investing in education and
healthcare
 promotes human and
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
development
. The government expanded access to education at every level. They
also
 reformed the curriculum. In the
healthcare
 sector, the government improves
healthcare
 services and
upgrade
Correct subject-verb agreement
upgrades
show examples
 medical facilities. In conclusion, the
eary
Correct your spelling
early
 2000s were a period of dramatic transformation for
Viet
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
Nam
, defined by strong economic growth, social transformations, and
infrastructure
development
.
Submitted by baonguyet3110 on

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task response
Focus on accurately addressing the essay prompt. Your essay provides a detailed overview of Vietnam's development but doesn't address the given topic on personal fitness training vs. playing sports. Ensure you carefully read and respond to the essay question directly.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction stating your main argument, followed by body paragraphs each focusing on a specific point related to the essay question, and a conclusion summarizing your viewpoint. Provide a clear thesis statement to guide your essay.
task response
To improve your task achievement score, ensure each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the question. Include examples and reasons for your opinion, and make sure your essay directly responds to all parts of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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