IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people says that instead of preventing climate changes we should find with it. Do you agree or disagree?

The issue of
climate
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change
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 has become a hot topic in recent years, some people think that
climate
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change
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 should be ignored. In my point of view, I have a different opinion, rather than ignore that issue, citizens should take action to prevent
climate
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change
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. The reason behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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climate
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change
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 affects
in
Change preposition
apply
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the whole life of humans, and will disturb the ecosystem of nature.
Firstly
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, the unpredicted weather is one of the true examples of
climate
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change
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.
Therefore
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, it impacts on every aspect of human life.
For instance
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, folks who worked as
a farmers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a farmer
farmers
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, a long time ago, had the ability to determine which month would be the best month for cultivating or reaping, but currently, the weather is unpredictable, and somehow creates disasters
such
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 as drought and flood.
This
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 disaster can have a wide impact not only on the farmers who
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
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 crop failure but
also
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 on
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the possibility of creating famine disaster.
That is
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 why,
climate
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change
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 issues should be prevented.
Secondly
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, the rise in earth's temperature could disturb the environment of other creatures who live in nature,
due to
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Correct article usage
the posibility
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posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of forest fires.
For example
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, in Kalimantan Forest, which has peat soil. When the summer season happens for a long time in that region, the cases of forest fires increase and damage the habitat of animals and plants that grow there.
According to
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 that fact, concrete action should be taken to avoid the wider impact of
climate
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change
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.
To sum up
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, the leverage of
climate
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change
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 has interfered with all creatures not only humans but
also
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 other creatures
such
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 as animals and plants, which is their habitat is destroyed by the rapid
change
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 in
climate
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. Based on those facts, I do not support the idea of ignoring the
climate
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change
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 issue, because in the future, if humans do not take action, a horrible impact could happen.

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coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing the complexity of your sentence structures to improve clarity and sophistication. This may involve varying sentence types and lengths, and using more advanced conjunctions and discourse markers.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, incorporate a broader range of examples and data. While the examples provided are relevant, additional evidence could make your points more convincing to the reader.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, it's important to fully address all parts of the prompt. This includes presenting a clear opinion and thoroughly exploring supporting arguments with detailed reasons and examples.
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