Robots are popular these days. What are the advantages and disadvantages of robots?
Nowadays, a lot of young individuals want to improve themselves. They may have different ways of
devoloping
themselves. Correct your spelling
developing
While
some of them prefers
to explore the Change the verb form
prefer
world
on their own, others learn from seniors through their experiences and suggestions. I agree with the former. This
essay will explain the reasons below.
To begin
with, exploring the
life in their own way is so significant for young Correct article usage
apply
people
. Moreover
, thanks to the virtue of exploration, young humans have amazing experiences. Learning their own way people
actually discover their own capacity to achieve something different. This
motivates them to do more and more and pass beyond the limits of tradional
learning. Correct your spelling
traditional
Many
Correct quantifier usage
Much
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
show
that a lot of successful Change the verb form
shows
people
tried new things and wanted more freedom when their teenangers
period. Correct your spelling
teenage
For instance
, Mark Zuckerberg, he
wanted to be independent and created Facebook when he was under twenty.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Additionally
, the advices of old citizens are monotype and old-fashioned (obsolete) for current times. Many elderly people
do not adapt technologic
or modern Replace the word
technological
world
and they do not realise their ideas not
relevant Add a missing verb
are not
for
young Change preposition
to
people
. Although
many young people
know about this
, sometimes they still listen to the ideas of seniors because they fear about
exploring the Change preposition
apply
world
and want to avoid taking risk
.
In conclusion, many young citizens want to improve themselves. They have different chances in order to learn new things. They might explore Fix the agreement mistake
risks
world
and learn on their own methods or they listen to elderly Add an article
the world
people
. I think,
all Remove the comma
apply
teeangers
should explore the Correct your spelling
teenagers
world
and learn new things on
their own methods to pass beyond the limits of traditional habits and avoid obsolete perceptions.Change preposition
in
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task response
Be sure to directly address the topic. Your essay missed the specific question about the advantages and disadvantages of robots and discussed self-improvement methods instead. Always ensure your essay is directly relevant to the given question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay somewhat deviates from the standard structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Introduce your main ideas in the introduction, develop each idea into its own paragraph within the body, and summarise your position in the conclusion for better logical flow and structure.
task response
Though your essay contains examples, make sure they are directly related to the essay topic. When discussing advantages/disadvantages, specific, relevant examples strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.