The fast food industry has negative effect on our health, the environment and family eating habits. Do you agree or disagree?
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
fast
food sector is quite popular around the world as compared to the past. Add an article
the fast
Thus
, it creates plenty of adverse impacts on people
's health
and environment. I strongly agree with this
statement because people
suffer numerous
diseases; Change preposition
from numerous
this
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To commence with, the
fast Correct article usage
apply
foods
bring many adverse effects to the population because it
Correct pronoun usage
they
contains
numerous toxic chemicals and Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
makes
some Verb problem
cause
dealt
illnesses Verb problem
apply
such
as heart stroke, diabetes 2 and respiratory problems. This
means junk
food's ingredients are most dangerous to people'a
Correct your spelling
people's
health
and they added
to some chemicals for taste in order to Add a missing verb
are added
people
buy constantly. For example
, western nations are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
this
issue as compared to other parts of the world and their sickness ratio Change preposition
from this
also
increased rapidly due to
eating junk
foods
. Needless to say, fast foods
create many illness to the individuals who eat constantly.
Furthermore
, eating packaged foods
regularly rather than home-made
cuisines can cause obesity Correct your spelling
homemade
issue
, especially Fix the agreement mistake
issues
children
affect enormously. This
means,
Remove the comma
apply
overweight
problems can Correct word choice
that overweight
isolate
from society because Wrong verb form
be isolated
children
have to face bullying in schools and public places by slim persons, consequently
, toddlers may affect
psychological issues like stress and depression. Verb problem
have
For instance
, in the USA, more than 60% of the
Correct article usage
apply
children
have affected
Verb problem
developed
delression
problems because of Correct your spelling
depression
the
obesity. Not only Correct article usage
apply
children
are main
reasons for Correct article usage
the main
this
issue but also
their parents should change their bud's
eating Unnecessary verb
bud
habit
from Fix the agreement mistake
habits
junk
foods
to healthy home-made dishes.
To conclude
, fast
food sector causes more negative impacts on Correct article usage
the fast
people
's health
tremendously. It causes obesity issues and psychological disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
along with
some deadly diseases namely, diabetes 2, heart stroke and heart attack. Therefore
, I strongly agree with this
statement that junk
foods
can affect people
Change noun form
people's
health
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introductory sentence that outlines your position, followed by subsequent paragraphs that logically support your stance with specific examples and reasons. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the question in depth. This includes clearly stating your opinion, providing a range of relevant examples and explanations to support your views, and ensuring your conclusion matches the evidence presented.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking phrases to improve flow and coherence between ideas. This will make your essay more readable and engaging.
task achievement
Incorporate a broader range of vocabulary to effectively express your ideas and demonstrate depth of thought. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.