The fast food industry has negative effect on our health, the environment and family eating habits. Do you agree or disagree?

It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
fast
Add an article
the fast
show examples
food sector is quite popular around the world as compared to the past.
Thus
, it creates plenty of adverse impacts on
people
's
health
and environment. I strongly agree with
this
statement because
people
suffer
numerous
Change preposition
from numerous
show examples
diseases;
this
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
bring many adverse effects to the population because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
numerous toxic chemicals and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
makes
Verb problem
cause
show examples
some
dealt
Verb problem
apply
show examples
illnesses
such
as heart stroke, diabetes 2 and respiratory problems.
This
means
junk
food's ingredients are most dangerous to
people'a
Correct your spelling
people's
health
and they
added
Add a missing verb
are added
show examples
to some chemicals for taste in order to
people
buy constantly.
For example
, western nations
are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
this
Change preposition
from this
show examples
issue as compared to other parts of the world and their sickness ratio
also
increased rapidly
due to
eating
junk
foods
. Needless to say, fast
foods
create many illness to the individuals who eat constantly.
Furthermore
, eating packaged
foods
regularly rather than
home-made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
cuisines can cause obesity
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
, especially
children
affect enormously.
This
means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
overweight
Correct word choice
that overweight
show examples
problems can
isolate
Wrong verb form
be isolated
show examples
from society because
children
have to face bullying in schools and public places by slim persons,
consequently
, toddlers may
affect
Verb problem
have
show examples
psychological issues like stress and depression.
For instance
, in the USA, more than 60% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
have
affected
Verb problem
developed
show examples
delression
Correct your spelling
depression
problems because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity. Not only
children
are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
reasons for
this
issue but
also
their parents should change their
bud's
Unnecessary verb
bud
show examples
eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
from
junk
foods
to healthy home-made dishes.
To conclude
,
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
food sector causes more negative impacts on
people
's
health
tremendously. It causes obesity issues and psychological
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
along with
some deadly diseases namely, diabetes 2, heart stroke and heart attack.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with
this
statement that
junk
foods
can affect
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introductory sentence that outlines your position, followed by subsequent paragraphs that logically support your stance with specific examples and reasons. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the question in depth. This includes clearly stating your opinion, providing a range of relevant examples and explanations to support your views, and ensuring your conclusion matches the evidence presented.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using linking phrases to improve flow and coherence between ideas. This will make your essay more readable and engaging.
task achievement
Incorporate a broader range of vocabulary to effectively express your ideas and demonstrate depth of thought. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.

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