IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season.

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Brisk Café, by season.
#sales #food #items #café #season
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the given bar chart compares the average daily sales of five different
food
Use synonyms
 items during the
winter
Use synonyms
 and
summer
Use synonyms
 in the Brisk Café. From the bar chart,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
food
Use synonyms
item
Use synonyms
 served in the
winter
Use synonyms
 was hot
coffee
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was iced
coffee
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 items sold in
summer
Use synonyms
 were different. In the
summer
Use synonyms
, the highest serving of
food
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
iced
coffee
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was both soup and salad. In the
winter
Use synonyms
, hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the best-selling
food
Use synonyms
item
Use synonyms
 followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 soup, with almost 80 and 50
servings
Use synonyms
 daily respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, during the
winter
Use synonyms
, ice cream and salad were both sold
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
 and 25
servings
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 had the least sales compared to the other categories, with only less than 10
servings
Use synonyms
 daily. In the
summer
Use synonyms
, iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the most sold
food
Use synonyms
item
Use synonyms
 at 40
servings
Use synonyms
 daily. followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 ice cream at 35
servings
Use synonyms
 and hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 at 30
servings
Use synonyms
 on the daily average.
Next,
Linking Words
soup and salad both had
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 average of 25 and 25
servings
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by skripsinana8 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, winter, summer, item, coffee, servings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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What to do next:
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