Some people believe if a police force carries a guns, it will encourage the level of violence in the society. To what extent you agree or disagess

In the modern world, it is still legal in some nations to possess a gun by the
police
for defending and protecting purposes. Some people argue that
this
practice increases criminal rates,
whereas
others oppose
this
viewpoint. I truly agree with the former statement, and
this
essay will explain why. First and foremost, threatening law-breakers with a weapon will not motivate them to behave better.
In contrast
,
this
prompts criminals to escape or even fight back
a
Change preposition
against a
show examples
police
force causing negative consequences.
For example
, in some criminal cases in America, when the
police
tried to catch robbers, both policemen and criminals got injured, because of the
police
starting the shooting.
As a result
, utilising guns does not mean solving a problem making situations even worse.
Additionally
, the use of guns by
police
officers negatively affects children's perspective on the
police
system in general. Many young individuals consider policemen as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
of behaviour wanting to look alike.
For instance
, it is evident that most of the young learners at an early age want to become a policeman or a firefighter when they grow up.
Consequently
, by normalising guns kids can assume that to fix the issue they need to hurt a human. In conclusion, even though in some severe cases weapons can solve a problem, I still believe that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
of
this
activity outweigh the advantages. Rather than using aggressive strategies by the
police
, the government should invest
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
education to teach every citizen of their country about lawful regulations, morals, and norms. Providing
this
education for free will offer access to those who live in unsuccessful conditions.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear main ideas and supporting details. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, address the prompt fully by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree. Develop your ideas fully and use more specific examples to support your arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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