Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achiveing happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Discuss both views abd give your opinion.

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Nowadays

money

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is one of the crucial tools to make a higher standard of living , financial independence and comfort of living. A part of the world human beings believe that

money

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is the major factor in being joyful others believe

money

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can't achieve happiness. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both opinions and give my own thoughts towards

this

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matter. On the one hand, it is evident that

money

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gives a lot of opportunities for people, Mainly because, society can get a good education or travel to abroad get new knowledge.

For instance

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, If we compare second-world countries and first-world countries we can see that education and quality of life are better than second-world countries.

Moreover

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money

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can give the ability to afford pleasures and leisure activities, alleviating stress related to financial hardships.

On the other hand

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it is clear that

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with

money

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the community can get non-materialistic factors

such

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as health, education, relationships and personal growth.

Consequently

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, Understanding the relative importance of relationships and self-growing as a person.

Furthermore

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, non-material items can be never bought by

money

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However

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, in the near future science can make some technology to make health healthier. In conclusion, I tend to think that

money

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is a major key to making own life better and giving more opportunities for growth.

However

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, people should save a balance between

money

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and humanity.

Submitted by zhanabayev.z on Thu Feb 22 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction more clearly presents the topic and your thesis. This sets a good foundation for the rest of the essay.

task achievement

Develop your arguments with specific examples and details. Generalizations can be less convincing than concrete evidence.

task achievement

In the discussion of both views, ensure a balanced treatment. Spend approximately the same amount of space discussing each perspective to show an unbiased view before presenting your own opinion.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay more effectively by clearly delineating paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph deals with a single main idea, contributing to the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words/phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This enhances the cohesion of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider revising sentences that may be confusing or awkwardly constructed to improve the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Materialistic, Standard of living, Financial security, Leisure activities, Alleviate, Hardship, Social bonds, Self-actualization, Emotional well-being, Non-materialistic, Fulfillment, Contentment, Wealth disparity, Gratification, Extrinsic and intrinsic motivation, Pursuit of happiness, Affluence, Life satisfaction, Prosperity, Well-being

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achiveing happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Discuss both views abd give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

Some think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Write a letter to the editor to give your opinion about a magazine that you purchased. Include Why you bought it What you liked and disliked about it Suggestions for improvement

A staggering amount of food is wasted every year, both in businesses and household. Why is this happening? What can be done to tackle this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.