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The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010.
#bar #percentage #participation #men #development #three #companies #year
The bar
char
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
 compares the percentage of
men
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male
show examples
participants
 in senior development in three software companies namely IBN,
Microsoft
 and
Apple
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the figures increased throughout the
years
,
while
IBM
 employed the highest
number
 of
participants
. In 1980, 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
senior positioned
Add a hyphen
senior-positioned
show examples
men
was
Change the verb form
were
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 employed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
IBM
company
.
However
, in
Apple
company
Add a comma
company,
show examples
 the
number
 of
participants
 was higher in that year to 15
percent
. After 10
years
, 11 and 10
percent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 employers were hired
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
IBM
 and
Microsoft
 companies respectively. There was a significant rise in
IBM
company
 in 1995, the figure reached 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
participants
Change preposition
of participants
show examples
.
While
 in
Microsoft
company
 almost 15
percent
 of
men
 in senior development
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 worked. When it comes to
Apple
company
, more than 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of senior
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
men
 were employed. After five
years
, the
number
 of
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 in
IBM
company
 overcame all other companies by 32
percent
.
However
, the
number
 of
Apple
’s
employers
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 decreased to 29
percent
.
While
 in
Microsoft
 the same
number
 of
participants
 worked as it was 5
years
 ago. In 2010,
IBM
company
 reached almost
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 65
percent
.
While
Microsoft
 and
Apple
companies’
Change noun form
companies
show examples
participants
 grew to 45 and 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
Submitted by lodele.0203 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, participants, microsoft, apple, years, ibm, number, percent, company with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼

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