Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

Sports

are played everywhere around the world. few

people

start playing

sports

from childhood and develop playing

sports

as a career

havent

Correct your spelling

haven't

said that playing

sports

is remaining active.

Sports

hobby

Add an article

a hobby

show examples

which is freely acquired. It is highly argued that

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should

life

Correct your spelling

lift

show examples

threatning

Correct your spelling

threatening

sports

for

Change preposition

show examples

people

. To commence with, sport is

activity

Add an article

an activity

show examples

which is enjoyed by every individual between all age groups.It

Add a missing verb

is an

show examples

activity which helps

Add an article

an individual

the individual

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

in. many ways like

sports

can be

Add an article

a fun

show examples

fun filled

Add a hyphen

fun-filled

show examples

afamily

Correct your spelling

family

a family

get

Change preposition

apply

show examples

together.

People

enjoy

sports

while

they go picnics.It

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a form of daily

exrcise

Correct your spelling

exercise

which helps to recover from many

health realted

Correct your spelling

health-related

issues.

For example

, Weight loss

a nd

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

mental health.I totally agree playing

sports

should not be banned by

Correct article usage

the goveremnt

show examples

goveremnt

Correct your spelling

government

governments

. In

constrast

Correct your spelling

contrast

, few

sports

can be

life threatning

Correct your spelling

life-threatening

but if have the skills and

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

guidance to play.

Moreover

, all these

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

have to take public safety measures before playing.

For instance

, boxing, sky diving, scuba diving and many more if all the safety procedures

our

Correct your spelling

are

show examples

taken into

considerations

Fix the agreement mistake

consideration

show examples

along

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these activities are performed under trained safety managers all the

sports

played

Add a missing verb

are played

show examples

for fun and some

people

can opt for playing

Correct your spelling

certain

certains

Correct your spelling

certain

sports

and can build their careers, In conclusion, I agree with the

abaove

Correct your spelling

above

statement that everyone should have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to play any

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

and do any activity if they are performed under

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

supervison

Correct your spelling

supervision

and procedures are followed.I disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

baanning

Correct your spelling

banning

balancing

certain

sports

which lead to

illegial

Correct your spelling

illegal

gaming activities which would be more harmful

tahn

Correct your spelling

than

useful.

Submitted by muskaanahuja0007 on Thu Feb 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay lacks a clear and distinct introduction that explicitly states the topic and your stance on it. Consider starting with a sentence that directly addresses the question asked, followed by a thesis statement that outlines your main points.

task achievement

While you have attempted to discuss both views and provide your opinion, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. Aim to deepen your discussion by providing more detailed examples, reasoning, and analysis for each viewpoint. This will help demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay shows an attempt at coherence, but paragraphs are not clearly differentiated, and ideas within paragraphs could be more logically ordered. Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas and use connectors to show the relationship between ideas.

coherence cohesion

To avoid confusion and ensure your essay flows smoothly, each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Begin paragraphs with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea.

coherence cohesion

There are several grammatical errors and instances of unconventional phrasing throughout your essay. Regular practice and review of grammar rules will improve your writing. Consider using online resources or English language textbooks to reinforce your understanding of grammatical structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
You have been asked to write about the following topic. Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Leisure activities are important in human life; since our brain cannot operate 100% under stress conditions. In fact, our brain will grow if we give some time to rest after we learn or put some information in it. Especially, Children will be very sensitive to this kind of things; hence their brain are growing rapidly on these ages. Personally, I am certain youngsters need a break without education; hence education will put burdens on the brain. Yet, some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
5
band
Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?
Without a doubt, time has been one of the most important aspects of people’s lives. Because of this, most people tend to plan out how they would spend their time wisely by making schedules of what would have to be done for days, or even weeks to come. Yet, a handful of people believe that making plans seems to be a waste of time. Hence, in this essay, I will discuss both views regarding this issue and why I firmly agree with making plans in order to maximize our time due to some reasons set out below.
6.5
band
In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s digitalization world, nearly all individuals who have access to digital phones can capture and share photographs, which could be detrimental to the value of the work that professional photographers do. This essay vehemently disagrees with this scenario due to the lower quality of smartphone cameras, and folks’ lack of in-depth knowledge regarding photography compared to professional photographers.
5.5
band
Some companies blocks their employees from using social media and web sites such as facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to blocks access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Companies are delicate about the usage of social media by their employees. While it is believed that companies should block access to social media, I firmly disagree with this idea. This essay will explain several reasons for that matter.
7.5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars
It is thought by many people that car ownership has risen significantly over the past three decades and cities have been occupied by traffic. I think it is fair enough to mention that amount of people owning cars has increased simply because cars become more affordable to buy. I can provide a few solutions for reducing car use.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people prefer to carefully plan activities in their free time others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your answer?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some companies blocks their employees from using social media and web sites such as facebook. Do you think managers should trust employees to use time wisely, or do you think it is smart of companies to blocks access to some sites? Provide reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+