IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays more and more people consume fast food on a regular basis. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #food #basis #trend
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These days more population of people choose fast
food
 as their
base line
Correct your spelling
baseline
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 of everyday diet.
This
 lifestyle has its own benefits and drawbacks in
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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 lives which in
this
 passage are going to be discussed. On one hand, the reason behind
this
 trend is as plain as day; because people nowadays are too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
involved in
work
Add an article
the work
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 field, busy trying to make money,
therefore
 they do not have enough
time
 to cook
food
 at home and it is an easier option to just order it from a fast
food
 restaurant.
This
 selection for sure has its own beneficial points
such
 as thrift in
time
, being able to eat various kinds of
food
 at
anytime
Correct your spelling
any time
show examples
 and so much more.
Furthermore
,
it is clear that
 all fast
foods
 are not harmful,
for example
, some restaurants may make salads, sushi or local
foods
 which are actually tonic for health and can be delicious at the same
time
.
Although
Correct word choice
apply
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On the other hand
, most majority of fast
foods
 are not healthy, fruitful or nourishing. As a matter of fact, society calls them junk
foods
, because of
its
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the
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 amount of cholesterol and fat
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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enters
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enter
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to
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apply
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our body, and with
increase
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an increase
the increase
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 of those chemicals in our blood, the risk of heart attack
would
Verb problem
apply
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also
growth
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grows
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.
In addition
,
researches
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researchers
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 have shown that eating junk
foods
 for a long period of
time
 can elevate
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the risks
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risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
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 of getting stomach cancer. In conclusion, choosing fast
foods
 as
basis
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the basis
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 of a person's diet can
results
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result
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 in both a healthy, beneficial diet or a harmful, unhealthy one which can be dangerous for people's health.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
To enhance your score, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded with specific examples or further explanation. Your paragraphs introduce good points but could be developed further with more precise examples or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have organized your essay well, with clear paragraphs and a logical structure. To improve, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly. This will help your essay flow better.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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