The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

#two #show #sales #sectors #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons #mins

The pie charts illustrate the

percentage

sales of four

differents

Correct your spelling

different

show examples

retail's

Change noun form

retail

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

in Canada between 2005 and 2010. As we can

seen

Change the verb form

see

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

food and beverage had the highest

percentage

for

Change preposition

show examples

retail sales in 2010,

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronics and

appliance

Fix the agreement mistake

appliances

show examples

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the first chosen by

Canadian

Fix the agreement mistake

Canadians

show examples

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2005.

According to

the data,

Change preposition

show examples

the year 2005, the food and beverage proportion was 22%. It was just below the home furnishings sale

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

was 25%.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the less favourite chosen was video games

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

percentage

was only 18%.

In contrast

, the food sales incredibly rose by 2010 and it

becoming

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

the most

populer

Correct your spelling

popular

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

in the society of Canada.

On the other hand

, in the time of 2010, the home furnishing sector was the less

populer

Correct your spelling

popular

. The

percentage

was just 15%,

while

for the video games's proportion rose by 5%.

Whereas

, the electronics's sale

was decrease

Change the verb form

was decreased

show examples

by 5%. All in all, the proportion of types of

ritel

Correct your spelling

ritual

sector's

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

had changed over the time

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Feb 22 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

165 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

Some companies spend a lot of money on scientific research and use animals for testing. Many argue that this is for a just cause while others say otherwise. Do the advantages of using animals in research outweigh its disadvantages?

The rise of social media has affected relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvangtages?

Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing. Why do you think it is happening? How can this problem be solved?

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree.