In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.It is therefore necessary for governments to imposw a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
The percentage of
people
have accelerated who are suffering from various ailments like- high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and so on because of their choice of food
.That’s why the government put a huge amount of taxes
on the
fast Correct article usage
apply
foods
.But,I personally disagree Fix the agreement mistake
food
about
the higher tax system as it creates many Change preposition
with
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
especially
for Add the comma(s)
, especially
the
poor Correct article usage
apply
people
.
Perhaps the most compelling reason is why higher
tax on Add an article
a higher
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
items
is not solution
because it is the source of meals for low earning Add an article
a solution
the solution
people
.As the unhealthy foods
are very cheap.On the other hand
,the
fresh Correct article usage
apply
food
like fruits, oats,nuts,dates and so on are highly price able
than fast Correct word choice
expensive
food
like pizza,cake,bread, jam and so on.Additionally
the fast Add a comma
Additionally,
foods
are easily available in our surrounding
. Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
As a result
, the school going
children and the Add a hyphen
school-going
labour
can consume more calories Correct your spelling
labourers
with
a cheap rate. But the higher taxing may lead them weak structure.
Change preposition
at
Moreover
, as
Correct word choice
apply
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
companies are rapidly distributed all over the country. So,it became the source of working-place and many people
depends
on them as their livelihood. If the Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
taxes
are raised,the selling of products will be reduced.As a consequence
, the companies will not run furthermore
. So,the government should support them financially to process these Rephrase
further
foods
in Change the article
a healty
healty
way.
Correct your spelling
healthy
However
, higher taxes
on unhealthy food
items
help the medical sector. As high prices of the food
item can not be afforded by students and in all time snack purpose. So,people
will less
affected by serious Add a missing verb
be less
disease
. On the opposition view,more sick Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
people
take pressurized
Verb problem
are pressured
on
the medical Change preposition
into
sactor
.Correct your spelling
system
Thus
,the authorities need to recruit more doctors and provide more hospital facilities. So,people
should consume these food
in a limited range.
In conclusion, diseases are spread too much in all ages because of their Fix the agreement mistake
foods
food
habit.But, higher taxes
cause various problems for the undeveloped countries. So,instead
of imposing higher tax
, the government should reduce money on Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
the
fresh Correct article usage
apply
items
.Therefore
, people
should consume these healthy items
within their income.Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Use transitional phrases to link ideas between paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively presents and summarizes your argument. The introduction should explicitly state your opinion in response to the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed reasons and examples. This helps to make your argument more convincing and your writing more engaging.
Task Achievement
Make sure your essay fully addresses the prompt and clearly states your position. Discuss your viewpoint throughout the essay rather than introducing new ideas without development.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas thoroughly to provide a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Use specific examples to illustrate your points, which helps in making your argument more convincing.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support your argument. These examples make your writing more persuasive and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.