IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

#threats #humans #face #st #century #sea #levels #rise #rates
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In the contemporary epoch, human beings are facing the issue of global warming at
Correct article usage
an alarming
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alarming
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an alarming
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 rate
due to
 which sea levels are rising rapidly. Global warming leads to relentless health problems and
risk
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risks
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 to human lives. Some possible remedies to cope with
this
 issue are control
on
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of
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pollution
 and public awareness. The primary problem caused
due to
 global warming is the negative effect on the health of
public
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the public
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, as the ozone layer is getting
effected
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affected
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 and
due to
which
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this
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 people get
aliments
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ailments
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such
 as skin burns, and heart attack diseases. Loss of life is recorded
due to
 heart problems in various nations.
Moreover
,
due to
 the high temperature caused by global warming sea levels are rising
along with
this
, the rate of volcanic eruptions has
also
 increased
due to
 the risk
on
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to
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 human life increases.
For example
, in 2017, in Goa,
due to
 volcanic
eruptions
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eruptions,
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 a 6.2 magnitude earthquake was recorded that
lead
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led
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 to
loss
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the loss
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 of humans
as well as
 animals living in the nearby forest. As per the records it was quite dangerous. The first possible solution to the
trouble
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problem
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 is that the rate of
pollution
 needs to be controlled. Government and individuals can cooperate together to reduce the levels of
pollution
 by afforestation
,
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apply
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 so that the ozone layer gets protected and it could lead to
reduction
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a reduction
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 in global
warning
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warming
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. Another prominent solution is making the general masses aware
about
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of
show examples
 the importance of protecting
environment
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the environment
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 by conducting seminars at
global
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the global
a global
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 level.
For instance
, Chandigarh
,
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apply
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 is called
as
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apply
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“City Beautiful” because it conducts seminars every year with the agenda of keeping the
surrounding
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surroundings
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 clean to protect the environment from global
warning
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warming
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.
To conclude
,
although
 global warming causes menses like health issues and skin burns,
but
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apply
show examples
controlling
pollution
 and spending awareness are the possible remedies to the trouble.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
Expand your range of examples and ensure they are fully relevant and detailed to support your points more effectively. While your essay mentions an earthquake example, connecting it directly to global warming could be clearer. Provide specific, clear examples that directly relate to the issues of global warming and the solutions proposed.
coherence cohesion
Increase the complexity of sentence structures and lexical resource to enhance clarity and impact. Using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence variations can help make your essay more engaging and clear. Aim for precision in your word choice and strive for variety in your sentence construction.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the development of your main points with more detailed arguments and explanations. Each paragraph should explore its main idea in depth, offering a comprehensive analysis that enriches your essay. Consider adding more information or examples to support your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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