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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #friends #families #trend #impact #communities
In the modern era, there has been a trend from people residing by themselves or with their friends rather than living with their original families compared to the past. With
this
 issue, there can be a positive aspect at the individual's
level
, but it cannot be deniable that a negative impact can be prevalent at the society
level
 which I am personally in the same vein.
Therefore
, both views will be discussed below with my personal viewpoint.
To begin
 with, it can be seen that there is an advancement of living themselves or with their friends from an individual's viewpoint.
This
 is becuase of the fact that the conditions of their residence, place, space, and even decorations for their house are fundamentally based on their own taste rather than someone eles's
such
 as their family. To examplify
this
, those who just started to live apart from their fmailies can make decision where and who they live, and which furniture will be placed in their house from tiny things
such
 as cups and bowls to the big appliances like a bed and a couch.
For
this
 reason, it might be acknowledged that people who lives away from their families is respected for their choice for their residences which is the positive view at the individual's
level
.
However
, at the same time,
on the other hand
, there is an accompanying concern at not only the family
level
 but
also
 the community
level
. When it comes to the family
level
,
this
 phenomenon makes a family bond weaker than they live together contributing to an unhealthy situation for family members.
In addition
, at the society
level
, housing demand can be increased which is obviously limited to supply everyone's needs and wants.
This
 might end up leading increasing in housing costs for everyone. Based on
this
 circumstance, the poor who must need a house for themselves will not be able to get a place for them resulting to become homeless.
Hence
,
this
 social trend can bring unexpected consquence at the family and the community levels.
To conclude
, it can be considered that the severe disadvantage can be caused by the new social trends
such
 as living separated from family pertaining to a weak family bond and increasing the number of homeless by having higher housing costs, and I believe that the phenomenon takes part of
this
 social issue,
while
 individuals enjoy their own places decorated with their taste.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your examples with more detailed real-world scenarios or statistics to strengthen your argument and make your points more vivid.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to explicitly state your position. This aids in guiding your reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. While your usage is solid, more variety could improve readability and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Erosion
  • Communal cohesion
  • Geographical dispersion
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Real estate dynamics
  • Psychological well-being
  • Technological facilitation
  • Independence
  • Traditional vs modern lifestyles
  • Intergenerational relationships
  • Virtual communities
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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