Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Countries
are becoming more similar becase
people can buy the same products no matter in which Correct your spelling
because
country
you
are, for me Correct pronoun usage
they
this
is a positive development for all the countries
and regions as long as the
society stays Correct article usage
apply
connect
Wrong verb form
connected
in
social media is impossible to stop that phenomenon.
Change preposition
to
In
one hand there is a positive impact because people can have a better quality Change preposition
On
life
and improve the economy. Change preposition
of life
For example
, in my home
my mom always Add a comma
home,
do
the cleaning in the same way with a broom and ragpicker and now we do the cleaning with the famous Change the verb form
does
dyson
for cleaning Change the capitalization
Dyson
home
and Correct article usage
the home
ours
life changed since we bought it, another example Correct the word
our
nowadays
we can buy a massive product and sell it online that can enhance the economy in a Add a missing verb
is nowadays
country
.
In
the other hand, the negative development is that the nations can Change preposition
On
loss
their culture because Replace the word
lose
in
Change the preposition
at
this
moment no one wants to create useful things for example
pottery used to be in countries
like Italy an
art and it was a legacy in families that Remove the article
apply
where
through the time, Correct your spelling
were
this
kind of pieces nowadays are made and painted by hand but this
is few compared with the massive productions made in countries
like China.
To conclude
is important to have a better quality life
in each Change preposition
of life
country
many products can help the
society but, it is paramount to Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
maintain
mantain
our culture every single Correct your spelling
maintain
country
have Correct your spelling
different
differents
legacies that should be Correct your spelling
different
keep
itWrong verb form
kept
Submitted by natalyrau13 on
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Task Achievement
Clarify your position more directly in the introduction. While you've stated a positive view on the phenomenon, explicitly mentioning your main arguments here would strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more clearly with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This will improve the reader's ability to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. While some effort is evident, increasing this variety would enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by explaining how they specifically relate to the broader point you're making. This deepens the reader's understanding and engagement with your argument.
General
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper use of commas and periods to separate ideas for clearer communication.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.